Mom of All Trades

Packing A Miracle

2011-03-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

“…Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?” – John 6:9

Do you ever get tired of packing lunches and snacks for your kids? I sure do. One of the many things I love about summer vacation is the long break from filling lunchboxes and washing water bottles.

In the Biblical account of Jesus feeding five thousand people, meal time rolls around and no one is prepared. The people are hungry and there is no food available. However, one boy offers to share his five loaves of bread and two small fish. Jesus gives thanks for this food, and miraculously uses it to feed all of the people until they are full, then the disciples gather up twelve baskets of leftovers.

Now, how do you suppose the boy got that food? One can assume his mom packed it for him. That is what moms do—they think ahead to what their children might need for the day. When they know their kids will be running around outside all day, they tuck snacks into pockets and canteens of water over shoulders. They load up lunchboxes and water bottles for school. They plan treats for special occasions and fun lunches for play dates. Moms plan, prepare, and pack.

Yet I often forget the value and the potential power of this loving effort. When the boy’s mom sent him out with bread and fish, she had no way of knowing her meager meal would become a miracle. We don’t know when that might happen either. But God can use anything, even a snack, to reach people and show His love.

Consider the conversations around the lunchroom tables. “My mom packed my favorite sandwich for me!” “Ugh, my mom packed a banana again.” “I got cookies in my lunch, do you want one?” For my oldest daughter, one day that conversation led to a boy asking her about Jesus.

We often show our kids love through what we pack, and our kids can use that to share, help and encourage their friends. When my daughter was in first grade, a classmate never brought a snack to school, so she shared hers. In fourth grade, the boy who asked her about Jesus at lunch wanted to know more while they sucked on lollipops and waited for their afternoon carpools.

Food can break down barriers, make conversation easier, and allow people to seem more real or down to earth. Sometimes it is more comfortable for kids to bring up sensitive topics with something in their mouths.

The next time you pack a lunch or a snack, remember the mom who packed the five loaves and two fish for her little boy, and expect a miracle.

Make Fruit More Fun With This Simple Dip

2011-03-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

Most kids like the sweetness of fruit, but if yours don’t, or if they don’t eat enough fruit, this fun dip may help.

Put one 8oz block of cream cheese (cut up if necessary), ½ cup of brown sugar, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla in a blender or food processor. Whirl until smooth. If needed, you can thin it a bit with a tablespoon of milk.

Let the kids dunk slices of fruit into the dip. If you like, you can also provide a dish of finely chopped peanuts or pecans (or any other nut). Dip a slice of fruit into the cream cheese mixture, then roll it in the nuts for a crunchy variation.

Enjoy!

Perturbed With Picky Eaters?

2011-02-07T07:00:00.001-07:00

Is there anything more frustrating than putting in the time and effort to make your child’s favorite dinner, only to hear her say, “I don’t like that anymore?” Kids’ tastes seem to change with their moods, and can be difficult to follow. One day my daughter announced, “Now that I am five, I don’t like shrimp and I don’t like cheese on my macaroni.” When she turned six, she informed us that these dislikes had passed.

If you struggle with picky eaters in your kitchen, don’t worry. For each meal of the day, make something for your entire family that your child is likely to enjoy. Don’t become a short-order cook who makes a different meal for every member of the family. Encourage her to try at least one bite of each item on the plate.

If she pushes it away, let her know that choosing not to eat is perfectly fine, but that you are not making anything else until the next meal (even if that meal won’t come until tomorrow morning). If she is hungry but doesn’t like her meal, she may get something else on her own, as long as it is healthy and she cleans up after herself. My kids are allowed to replace disliked meals with things like lunch meat, cheese, yogurt (keep an eye on the sugar level and ingredients in the yogurt), or rice cakes topped with almond butter. You could even convert the small meat tray in your refrigerator to a “kids compartment” and keep it stocked with approved foods the kids can get for themselves when they want a meal replacement.

It is important that meal times remain pleasant. Don’t engage in a battle of the wills over food. Trying to force your child to eat something will just result in everyone being upset and frustrated for no real gain. Don’t be concerned if your child doesn’t eat much (unless she is having growth or nutritional issues). Consider what your child eats over the course of a week, rather than an individual meal, to make sure she is hitting all of the food groups. On the flip side, encourage your good eater to listen to her body and stop eating when she is full. It is better to throw food away than to form the habit of overeating.

Trust that your child will not starve. She may skip meals, but as long as she is healthy, she will eat when she is hungry. Set her up for success at meals by making them a fun time of reconnecting as a family.

Looking for a new side dish? Try quinoa!

2011-02-01T07:00:00.001-07:00

If your family is getting tired of rice, or if you need to pack some extra protein into a picky eater, try quinoa (pronounced keen-wa). It is delicious, easy to make, and not very expensive. Best of all, it is very healthy.

Although it looks and cooks like a grain, it is actually related to leafy green vegetables such as spinach and Swiss chard. It has a nutty flavor and a slightly crunchy texture. Quinoa is a complete protein, meaning it includes all nine essential amino acids. It is also a good source of manganese, magnesium, iron, copper, and phosphorus, and it is gluten free.

I normally make it just like rice and top it with a little butter and salt, but one day my husband decided to make it like Thanksgiving dressing. My whole family loved it, and it tastes warm and homey on chilly winter nights.

Simply boil 1 cup of quinoa, 1 teaspoon of rubbed sage (you can use more or less depending on your preference), and 2 stalks of chopped celery in 2 cups of chicken broth. When it comes to a boil, cover and reduce the heat (just like you do when cooking rice) and let it simmer for about 20 minutes. It is done when the water is gone and the grains are tender. Stir in ¼ cupped chopped parsley and salt to taste.

You can also cook quinoa with chopped carrots, celery, green peas, onions, and curry for an Indian flare.

For the best price, buy quinoa from the bulk bins at your local health food store or Sprouts Farmer's Market. It will be near the rice and dried beans.

Quinoa also makes a great breakfast. Ancient Harvest makes quinoa flakes that cook like instant oatmeal. Top with a sprinkle of brown sugar for a hot, hearty, healthy start to the day. I buy this at Vitamin Cottage, but it is available at many stores in the cereal aisle.

Fun Foods To Shake Up Sack Lunches

2011-01-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

Hello, my faithful reader! I hope you had a great Christmas and New Years. Thanks for sticking with me while I took a holiday break from blogging.

For the next few weeks, we will talk about food, including ways to incorporate healthier foods into our diets, dealing with picky eaters, and how to make meal time fun for the whole family. Check back each week for new tips and information.

If your school-aged kids are anything like mine, you started hearing, “Can I have something other than a sandwich?” back in September. Sadly, when it comes to finding new things for sack lunches, I often come up short.

I have found a few winners, though, so I hope these help your children find their sack lunches a bit more enjoyable.

Ham Roll-Ups
Spread Neufchatel cheese (low fat cream cheese) on a slice of ham. Drizzle a little raspberry chipotle sauce over the cheese and roll up like a burrito. My favorite sauce is Buffalo Bob’s Raspberry Chipotle Dipping Sauce, sold sporadically at Vitamin Cottage or Sprouts. I’ve also used Archer Farms brand raspberry chipotle grilling sauce sold at Target. My kids eat three roll ups for lunch.

Fruit Dip
Mix cream cheese, vanilla, and cinnamon to taste. If desired, use a little orange juice or lemon juice to thin it a bit. Send an assortment of sliced apples, pears, celery, bell peppers, or other fruits and vegetable to dip.

Pasta Salad
Use a thermos to keep pasta salad cool until lunch time. You can also use a thermos to hold warm pasta like spaghetti or mac and cheese (it may not stay hot), mashed potatoes, mini-bagel pizzas or left-overs from dinner.

Rice Cakes
Top lightly salted brown rice cakes with peanut or almond butter and a drizzle of honey or agave nectar for an open-faced twist on the traditional sandwich. Send it in a hard-sided sandwich box since the peanut butter will get smooshed all over a plastic baggie.

Celery Boats
Stuff celery sticks with tuna or chicken salad. If your kids don't like celery, you can hollow out half of an apple and stuff it with the salad. You can also put the salad in a plastic cup and send celery and other veggies separately for dipping.

Make Your Own Lunchables
Cut up pieces of lunch meat and cheese so your kids can make their own sandwiches using crackers instead of bread.

If you have fun lunch ideas, please share them with us!

12 Days of Christmas Jokes For Kids

2010-12-21T07:30:00.001-07:00

If your little one is already going stir crazy on Christmas break, give him a laugh with a joke. These twelve are compliments of www.activityvillage.co.uk.

I’ll post again in the new year. Until then, have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

What do you call an old snowman?
Water!

What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!

What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!

When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (noel)!

What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?
The letter D!

Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decemberrrr!

What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one, after that it’s not empty anymore!

12 Days of Hot Chocolate

2010-12-14T12:50:00.001-07:00

I love hot chocolate all year round, but at Christmas time it is fun to experiment with different recipes. Let me know if you find one that it is a family favorite!

Skinny Santa Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 1 cup lowfat milk
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 2 teaspoons sugar
• 2 teaspoons water
• 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions
Heat the milk and the cinnamon stick until just simmering. In a mug, stir together the cocoa powder, sugar and water until a paste forms. Pour the milk into the mug and stir to mix well (remove the cinnamon stick if desired). Stir in the vanilla. Top with shaved dark chocolate if desired.

Plump and Jolly Elf Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 6 cups whole milk (or use half and half for an even jollier elf!)
• Chocolate Sauce, (recipe below)
• Whipped cream, optional
• 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate shavings or small pieces

Directions
Bring the milk to a simmer and whisk it into the chocolate sauce. Pour into mugs and top with whipped cream.

Chocolate Sauce:
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• 4 ounces semisweet chocolate
• 1/8 teaspoon grated orange zest

Over low heat, bring the cream, sugar, cinnamon and butter to a rolling boil. Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate until it melts. Add the orange zest before serving.

White Christmas Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 1 cup white chocolate chips
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 4 cups half-and-half
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
In a medium saucepan, combine the white chocolate chips and heavy cream over medium heat. Stir continuously until the chocolate is completely melted, then add the half-and-half, and vanilla extract. When it is heated through, it is ready to serve.

Jingle All The Way Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 2 1/2 cups whole milk
• 2 cups half-and-half
• 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 4 ounces milk chocolate, chopped
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon instant espresso or coffee powder (leave this out if kids are sharing!)

Directions
Heat the milk and half-and-half over medium heat to just below the simmering point. Remove from the heat and add both chocolates. When the chocolates are melted, add the sugar, vanilla extract, and espresso and whisk vigorously. Reheat gently and serve immediately.

I Caught Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 4 cups whole milk
• 4 cups half and half
• 1 pound white chocolate, chopped
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• Seeds scraped from 2 vanilla beans
• 1/4 to 1/3 cup orange flavored liqueur (such as Grand Marnier) but this is for Mommy only!

Directions
Over medium heat, bring the milk and half-and-half to just below simmering. Remove the pan from the heat and add the white chocolate. Add the vanilla to the melted chocolate, along with the vanilla bean seeds, and 1/4 to 1/3 cup orange liqueur, according to taste, and whisk vigorously. Gently reheat, then serve.

Sleigh Ride Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 4 cups whole milk
• ½ cup water
• ½ cup sugar
• 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 ounces butterscotch chips
• Whipped cream for garnish
• 1 toffee bar (such as a Heath bar) crushed for garnish

Directions
Bring the milk, water and sugar to a boil. Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate and butterscotch chips until they melted. Pour into mugs and top with whipped cream and crushed toffee.

Feliz Navidad Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 2 cups whole milk
• 1 tablespoon light brown sugar
• 4 1/2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• cayenne pepper

Directions
Bring the milk and sugar to a simmer. Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate, vanilla, cinnamon, and a small pinch of cayenne pepper with a wooden spoon and let steep for 3 minutes. Reheat over low heat until it simmers.
Strain the chocolate before serving.

Winter Wonderland Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 6 1/2 cups hot water
• Mini Marshmallows

Directions
In a large saucepan, combine sweetened condensed milk, cocoa, vanilla and salt; mix well. Over medium heat, slowly stir in hot water; Heat thoroughly, but do not boil. Top with marshmallows.

Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 3/4 cup milk
• 3/4 cup half-and-half
• 2 strips orange peel
• 2 strips lemon peel
• 4 ounces semisweet chocolate, very finely chopped
• whipped cream, for garnish

Directions
Heat the milk, half-and-half, orange peel and lemon peel to simmering, and simmer for about 2 minutes. Do not let it boil.
Remove the peels and add chocolate, whisking until melted.
Serve topped with whipped cream.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 2 cups hot milk
• 1 serving cocoa mix
• 1 tablespoon crushed peppermint stick
• 1 whole peppermint stick

Directions
Stir together milk, cocoa mix and crushed peppermint stick in a large mug. Garnish with a whole peppermint stick.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Hot Chocolate

Ingredients
• 1/4 cup milk chocolate chips
• 1 cup half-and-half
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Directions
Combine chocolate chips, half-and-half, and cinnamon over medium heat. Stir frequently with wooden spoon until the chocolate chips are meted; about 5 minutes. Do not let it boil.
Serve and enjoy!

Deck The Halls Hot Chocolate Tea

Ingredients
• 2 cups water
• 1 teaspoon loose-leaf Earl Grey tea
• 1 teaspoon loose-leaf Darjeeling tea
• 1 star anise
• 1 cinnamon stick
• Pinch ground ginger
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 6 ounces chopped dark chocolate
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
Heat water to a boil in a saucepan. Add the tea leaves, turn off the heat, and steep for 5 minutes. Strain the tea, then return in to the pan and add the star anise, cinnamon stick, ginger, and heavy cream. Heat over medium heat until cream scalds, but do not let it boil over.

Put the chocolate in a medium bowl and strain the cream mixture into the chocolate. Add the vanilla and whisk until the chocolate is melted. This can be served hot or chilled.

12 Days of Christmas Fun

2010-12-06T11:20:00.001-07:00

Okay, I know it is cliché, but I love the whole “12 Days of Christmas” list thing, so for the month of December I am posting lists of Christmas related ideas. This week we are looking at fun things to do around the Denver metro and surrounding areas (I apologize to my readers living in other states – perhaps a google search will reveal similar activities in your neck of the Christmas woods).

Wishing you a fun Christmas season with your kiddos!

1) Denver Zoo Lights (Denver)
I assume everyone living in Colorado knows about this since it has been around for years, but here are the details you’ll need if you are planning a visit.
Runs December 10 – January 2, 5:00 – 9:00 pm
Non-Member prices:
Adult: $8, kids 3 – 11: $4, seniors: $6
Members save $2 per ticket.
Bring a non-perishable food item donation and save $1.
Go to www.denverzoo.org for more information.

2) Electric Safari at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo (Colorado Springs)
Similar to Denver Zoo Lights for our friends in Colorado Springs.
Open December 17 – January 2 (not open Christmas Eve), 5:30 – 8:30 pm with last admission sold at 7:30.
There is a Santa’s Brunch on December 18. See website for details.
Don’t miss the Santa Zone with live reindeer!
Admission without a skyride is $8.25 for adults, $5.25 for kids 3 – 11. Kids under two are free.
Visit www.cmzoo.org to learn more.

3) Trail of Lights – Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield (Littleton)
Blossoms of Lights – Denver Botanic Gardens at York Street (Denver)
Runs December 3 – January 2, 5:30 – 9:30 pm
Adult tickets are $9.50, seniors are $7.50, kids 4 – 12 are $6.50, and kids three and under are free.
Learn more at www.botanicgardens.org.

4) Winter Wonderlights at The Wildlife Experience (Parker)
Visit December 10 – 24, 5:30 – 8:30 pm.
Adult admission: $9, seniors: $8, kids 3 – 12: $6, kids two and under are free
Members receive a $2 discount per ticket. Also, I have seen coupons for a free child’s admission with the purchase of an adult admission, so keep an eye open for one in you plan to attend.
Find more details at www.thewildlifeexperience.org.

5) Winter Wonderland at the Denver Children’s Museum (Denver)
Daily themed activities included with regular museum admission through December 31. Open Monday – Friday 9 am to 4 pm (stays open late on Wednesdays), Saturday – Sunday 10am – 5 pm.
Kids under 1 are free, one-year-olds are $6, those ages 2 – 59 are $8, seniors are $6.
Go to www.mychildsmuseum.org for more.

6) Civic Center Lights (Denver)
Drive downtown to see the beautiful lights on the Civic Center Building, right across from the state Capitol. There is a nice nativity scene, as well as a menorah. I like to drive around the city looking at lights, then have dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory on 18th Street.

7) Georgetown Christmas Market (Georgetown)
Runs the first two weekends in December from 10 am – 6 pm, free admission.
Get information at www.historicgeorgetown.org

8) Olde Golden Christmas On Parade (Washington Avenue, Golden)
Every Saturday through December 25, parade starts at 11:00 am.
Free admission, parking and horse-drawn carriage rides.
Find the details at www.2hourvacation.com

9) Santa On The Square (Larimer Square, Denver)
Your little one can make requests of Santa every weekend until Christmas Eve on Saturdays from 10 am – 7 pm and Sundays from 11 am – 5 pm. This is free and there is no charge to take photos with your personal camera.

10) A Charles Dickens Candlelight Christmas Tour at the Molly Brown House (Denver)
Tours start at 6 pm and 7 pm on Saturday, December 17.
Tours start at 5 pm, 6 pm, and 7 pm on Sunday, December 18.
Adult admission is $16, children are $13
Go to www.mollybrown.org for more information.

11) Tea at the Brown Palace (Denver)
A fun and fancy tradition for mothers and daughters.
Daily 12 – 4 pm. Reservations required (weekends fill quickly)
Go to www.brownpalace.com for details.

12) Ice Skating
There are loads of places offering seasonal outdoor rinks, and some indoor rinks hold special events in December. Check with a rink near you, or visit one of these:

The Pond At Southlands (Aurora) Open Monday – Thursday from 3 – 9 pm, Friday from 3 – 10 pm, Saturday from 11 am – 10 pm, and Sunday from 12 – 6 pm.
Admission is $8 without skate rental, $10 with skate rental

One Boulder Plaza (Boulder) Open Monday – Tuesday from 2 – 7 pm, Wednesday – Thursday from 10 am – 7 pm, Friday – Saturday from 10 am – 10 pm, and Sunday from 10 am – 7 pm. Admission is $6 for adults, $4 for kids ages 4 – 12, kids three and under are free, and seniors pay $5. Rent skates and helmets for $3. Go to www.bouldericerink.com to learn more.

Winter Wonderland Skate Night and Festival at the Parker Fieldhouse (Parker)
December 11, 5:30 – 9:30 pm, Admission is $6 but you save $1 if you bring a canned food item to donate. They do NOT have skate rentals at this event, so bring your own.

Teaching Kids What To Do With Their Allowance

2010-11-29T06:07:00.001-07:00

Once your kids have a little money, it starts burning holes in their pockets. It is time to help them learn how to manage that cash.

I recommend teaching kids to divide their money into three separate banks. You can use actual piggy banks, cute little decorative boxes, or simple bags to sort the money into a savings bank, a spending bank, and an offering bank. The money in the offering bank is what kids bring to church each Sunday to put in the collection plate.

Encourage your child to think of something she’d like to save for. My daughters like to save for special dolls or toys, as well as for summer camps. The money in the savings bank stays put until enough has accumulated for the desired item or activity to be purchased.

The spending bank funds your child’s pocket money. This covers those little “must haves” that kids spot while out shopping with you. My kids rarely bring their money with them when we go shopping, so I purchase items for them and they repay me when we get home. They also use this money for souvenirs when we go on vacation, as well as for buying donuts at church on Sunday morning.

I let my kids decide for themselves how much money to put into each bank. Amazingly, they generally put the bulk of it towards offering. If your kids do a pretty good job of splitting their money between their banks, let them do it independently. It does not need to be an even split, but each bank should be fed something every time your child gets paid. If you notice all of the money going into one bank, help your child learn how to split it up.

If you have a great idea for teaching kids to manage their money, please share it with us by commenting on this post.

Putting Your Teens On A Salary

2010-11-22T07:00:00.001-07:00

It is a sad fact that most Americans know very little about handling money. They assume that as long as they don’t bounce checks, they have everything under control. It is up to us as parents to make sure we have a solid financial understanding so we teach our children good habits.

One way to help our kids enter adulthood on a solid financial footing is to give them plenty of experience before they graduate from high school. Just as a new driver must have a learner’s permit before earning a license, kids need a period of practicing with money.

Around the age of 12 (depending on your child’s personality, maturity, and attitude towards money) you can put your child on a salary. If you have been doing a good job keeping a budget of your family’s expenses, you will know how much money you spend on your child’s needs each month. This includes things such as clothes, school supplies, hot lunch, sports fees, gifts for birthday parties, socializing, etc. Rather than hold on to this money until your teen needs it, give it to him at the beginning of the month (or on the 1st and 15th of the month) in the form of a salary.

Once on a salary, your child no longer comes to you with requests for money. He must manage his needs based on what he has in his “account.” Many banks won’t let kids open checking accounts until they are 16 (and they can’t write checks without identification anyway), so you may have to create a mock account at home. I like the popular “envelope system” where kids divide money into separate envelopes for each anticipated need. For example, if they typically spend $30 a month on gifts for people, they put $30 cash in their “gift” envelope and make purchases for their friends from that money only.

As the parent, you continue to pay for food eaten at home, as well as family dinners out and family activities. If your child goes out to eat with her friends, she pays for her own food from her salary. Parents also pay for school fees and other non-negotiable school expenses. Extras like yearbooks can be paid for with the student’s salary or may be a birthday, Christmas or graduation gift from you.

As soon as your child is old enough, open a checking account and teach her how to manage it. Set aside time each month to balance your checkbooks together so you can make sure your child is forming good habits and keeps her financial records in order. When your teen is successful in keeping her checkbook under control, let her have a debit card. It is very important that she learn the difference between a debit card and a credit card, and when to use each type of card, before she goes to college or moves out on her own. Most college students graduate with credit card debt because they never learned how credit cards work. Some colleges say more students drop out due to credit card debt than actually graduate. Their monthly payments become so high that they must work full time to pay them off.

The salary system works well for students who are doing well in school and participating nicely in the family. If your teen is struggling in school, the added responsibility of managing his own expenses may be overwhelming. If your child is disrespectful at home, she may not have earned the privilege of having money. Remember that most of the things kids buy are not true needs, and are therefore privileges.

If you don’t feel like you have a strong understanding of finances, make a commitment to educate yourself. Start today. In a changing economy, you must actively stay on top of your education so you can teach your kids to make smart choices. I strongly recommend Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University for getting a good foundation for your financial education (although his information on mutual finds needs to be updated). Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad series is also a good source of information.

Teaching Older Kids The Value Of Work

2010-11-15T07:00:00.003-07:00

Have you ever met a kid with a “what’s in it for me” attitude? Do you have one of those kids? This week’s post can help conquer that attitude with an allowance system that teaches kids the value of money, encourages them to save for a goal, and helps them learn the joy of helping.

By the time kids are eight years old (and younger kids who are mature in their understanding of money), they are ready for a new allowance system. The “all or nothing” program that keeps things simple for younger kids just doesn’t meet the developmental needs of older ones.

The allowance system for 8 – 12-year-olds is based on earning beads for helping out around the house. Start by making a list of jobs needing to be done and by getting a small jar for each child and a supply of beads. Let the kids know that when their expected jobs are completed, they are invited to do additional jobs for beads. Expected jobs are the things they got allowance for when they were younger. In my house, the kids need to take care of the dog, keep their shoes and socks put away, and keep their bedrooms and shared bathroom clean. These tasks are expected to be completed simply because they are part of keeping a nice living environment for the rest of the family and because they help us maintain the value of our home (I sometimes have to remind my daughter that her bedroom carpet can’t be vacuumed until she puts away her toys and she doesn’t make enough allowance to pay for new carpet if hers wears out because it never gets cleaned). When those things are taken care of, they can move on to paying jobs.

Each bead is worth $0.25, and most jobs are worth one bead. I break them down into reasonable bites in keeping with the $0.25 price tag. For example, vacuuming the carpeted areas on our main floor is worth one bead, vacuuming the hardwood areas of the main floor is worth one bead, and moping the hardwood on the main floor is worth one bead. However, if someone does all three of these jobs, I am likely to throw in a bonus bead, because that is a lot of work! Other jobs worth one bead are cleaning all of the mirrors in the house, cleaning the counter, sink and toilet in a bathroom, or doing the dishes. Sometimes my kids will negotiate larger payouts for larger jobs. For example, washing my car will earn someone two beads. My kids will also negotiate “package deals” by asking how many beads they can have if they pick up, dust and vacuum the family room. I am always open to negotiations, but my kids also know that I have the final say on acceptable jobs and beads awarded.

My kids also know that I will ask them to do thing just to help out and that no bead will be awarded. If I have already bagged up the trash, I may ask one of them to take the bag to the garage for free, simply because I need help. Don’t let the kids feel like they need to get paid to do anything.

Once we started this system, I was happily amazed at how my kids began helping out more even when they weren’t getting paid. I think part of the change came from realizing that they were capable of doing more than they knew. Moms can help with this by resisting the urge to criticize their children’s work. Don’t expect them to clean the same way you would. They are not as strong or as tall, so adult cleaning supplies, especially the vacuum and mop, can be difficult for them to manage. Reward them for their effort and gently teach them techniques for doing a more thorough job next time. When kids feel successful, they are more likely to try again, even without a tangible reward.

This allowance system is also great for kids who are saving their money for something specific because it gives them control over how quickly they reach their goal. My house looks like a model home the week before a school book fair because my kids are frantically trying to earn as much money as they can. My oldest daughter is saving up for a new guitar, so as soon as her homework is done she gets busy doing jobs. I can tell when my kids don’t have a goal in mind because their jars sit empty for a week or two.

I pay allowance twice a month under this system, just like a paycheck. Payday is on the 1st and the 15th of every month. This payment plan gets kids ready for the next system they will have for earning money when they are teenagers. For more on that, check in next week.

Helping Young Kids Get A Handle On Money And More

2010-11-03T13:31:00.000-06:00

First off, I appologize for neglecting my blog for so long. Thank you for faithfully checking back and for sticking with me.

Secondly, November is Money Month, so all this month we will talk about teaching kids to manage finances through different, age-appropriate forms of allowance. If your kids aren't in the age group discussed this week, check back next week for tips for 8 - 12-year-olds or the following week for tips for teens.

Thanks again for your continued support. Now, on to this week's post...

Parents often ask me what they can do to get their kids to pick up all of the stuff they leave around the house. In addition to toys, most kids leave a trail of shoes, socks, snack wrappers, juice pouches, sporting equipment, and other odds and ends all over the place.

Between the ages of 4 and 8, it can help to start giving them an allowance. In order for kids to learn how to count money, as well as how to use it, they need to be in charge of some. I recommend giving kids this age three allowance jobs. Make sure they are easy jobs the child can do independently. For example, my children’s first allowance jobs were to feed the dog twice a day, keep their shoes and socks either on their feet or put away, and keep their rooms tidy (remember to keep your expectation of “tidy” age appropriate).

It works well to keep your system simple – if the child does all of his jobs, he gets all of his allowance. If he doesn’t do a job, he gets no allowance. It is too confusing and too much maintenance to pay different amounts of money for different jobs. I recommend paying $2.50 a week. This comes to $10 a month which is plenty of money for kids this age.

When you pay the earned money, pay it in quarters (if you pay $2.50 a week, that means the child receives a very impressive stack of 10 quarters). Then, every night after dinner, have a short time of family cleaning. In my home, we simply call it “15 minutes.” For 15 minutes, everyone works at picking up the debris that accumulated around the house during the day, while I clean up dinner. On Sundays, after 15 minutes is up, I walk around the main living area of the house (not the kids’ bedrooms) and pick up anything left out. The items I collect go into a bag, where they stay for one week. The kids must purchase their things out of the bag the following Sunday for $0.25 per item (this is why you pay allowance in quarters). If they need something before the week is up (like their shoes) they may buy things early for $0.50 each. All items must be purchased from the bag by the end of the week and must be put away once purchased.

This system encourages kids to do their allowance jobs and keep their things put away. You can have your child use a chart to keep track of his work if you want to, although at this age it is generally easy to see if the work is completed or not. If you do use a chart, Target stores carry a cute magnetic one that has many common jobs already listed on moveable magnets, along with blank magnets so you can make up your own tasks.

If you have a great idea for encouraging your kids to pick up after themselves or for handling allowance, share it with us by commenting on this post.

Next month we will talk about handling allowance for 8 – 12-year-olds.

Trapped in Home Office Hell (The Perils of Multi-tasking)

2010-04-30T11:46:00.002-06:00

“..in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” - Proverbs 3:6

The idea of a home office is so appealing. There is a certain romance in the thought of listening for the washing machine to finish spinning while I type away on my latest book, knowing I’ll be home when my kids return from school and will have dinner on the table promptly at 6:00.

However, romance has never been a strong part of my reality. This morning, for example, I got my kids out the door for school, had a quick breakfast with my husband (who also works from home), then sat down to get a little bit of work done before heading out to my weekly writers group meeting. I had about 20 minutes to outline a talk I’m preparing, and told my husband about my need to be efficient with this limited amount of time. I had a busy day ahead, with no time for any laundry, cooking, cleaning, or shenanigans. Sweet home office image dissolved.

About seven minutes into my work, I heard my husband’s approaching footsteps on the stairs, along with his low chuckle. “I need to take you away from your work for five minutes, but it will totally be worth it.” How do you argue with that? He directed me to his facebook post containing a Southpark video about the perils of “friending” people on facebook.

How on earth could he possibly think that Southpark would be “totally worth” taking up 25 percent of my working time?

However, this situation is in no way unique. In fact, I could write about this every day by simply changing the distractions and those doing the distracting. I find that I can get house work, work-work, or what I call “people work” (relationship building) done in any given day. It is a rare day when my fantasy of getting “everything” done is realized. This morning, taking time for people work meant I didn’t finish my work-work. I didn’t even bother trying to tackle house work.

Somewhere along the line, our society got the idea that multi-tasking is a good idea. Ask any home office worker, or any mother, and she will tell you it isn’t true. When you try to do everything, you focus on nothing and excel at nothing.

I regularly have to remind myself of my priorities. When my head says, “The kids will be okay if you just write one or two more pages,” my heart admonishes me with, “You are a mother first. You can work again tomorrow.” In the end, the laundry does get done, the work deadlines are met, but when I skip or shortchange the people work, I never get those moments back again, and that time is truly lost. The moments spent in relationship with others are the meaningful times that I remember.

If you are also having trouble getting “it all” done, share with me so I know I’m not alone!

Wisdom in the Every Day

2010-04-23T11:11:00.001-06:00

But wisdom is proved right by all her children." - Luke 7:35

A heavy, work-related decision for my husband has us both asking God for an increased measure of wisdom. Requests for insight, discernment and sound judgment fill our prayer times as we wait for God to give us direction.

I can’t help but notice that I tend to ask for wisdom when facing big decisions. However, as a mom, I make millions of little decisions every day that also require wisdom. Deciding on how to get nutrients into my kids’ mouths most efficiently and with the least amount of mess requires wisdom (and creativity). Leading my kids through their daily homework with a positive attitude takes wisdom (and patience). Deciding which friendships to encourage and which one to keep quiet about uses wisdom (and discernment).

I want to remember to ask God to be my guide in every aspect of my life, even the mundane, every day actions like making dinner. With an extra dose of His wisdom, I know I can do a better job taking care of my family.

In what areas of life do you need His wisdom?

Off The Mark

2010-03-22T10:26:00.002-06:00

“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." - Jeremiah 31:25

Thank you for sticking with me, my faithful readers. I apologize that my Christmas blogging break extended into a longer hiatus.

Recently, I had the amazing opportunity to accompany my 9-year-old to her first archery class. She had been practicing with a toy bow and arrow for years and eagerly anticipated the day when she could get her hands on the real thing.

After stretching and warming up, she finally strapped on a protective arm guard and picked up a real bow. She straddled the firing line, aimed, and let her arrow fly. It streamed through the air, straight and true. Success. One after one, her arrows hit targets fifteen yards away as her smile got bigger and bigger.

I have no idea how many arrows she launched, but after about 40 minutes her bow was tipping to the side and her arrows hit low on the target. Fatigue led to a loss of focus, and therefore, less accuracy.

I’ve sure had that feeling as a mom. When I am tired, I am much more likely to ignore an offense that really should be disciplined. I serve food that is easy to get on the table, even if its nutritional value is marginal. Dawdling is allowed to the point where the kids go to bed later than normal when I don’t have the energy to keep them on track through the bed time routine.

When mom is tired, everyone suffers.

Now, when this happens occasionally, I don’t worry about it. What concerns me is when it becomes the normal state of family life. Sometimes what starts as fatigue turns into apathy.

Mom, please make the commitment today to take whatever steps are needed to give yourself more energy. Maybe you need more sleep. Maybe you need to cut sugar or simple carbs from your diet. Maybe you need to eat more veggies, or take a multi-vitamin, or get some exercise. Maybe you need a little downtime to just play. Maybe you could ask God to help, and spend some extra time in prayer with the Giver Of All Good Things. You may even need to experiment with some different ideas to figure out which ones really make a noticeable difference for you.

After putting down her bow and stretching again for ten or fifteen minutes, my daughter went back to the firing line and started hitting her targets again. As moms, we can be on the mark as well with just a little refreshment.

What do you do to re-energize yourself when you start feeling weary?

Blessed or Stressed

2009-12-12T07:47:00.002-07:00

While flipping through a catalogue last week, I noticed a coffee cup bearing a saying that has become my new mantra: "Too Blessed To Be Stressed."

This phrase really socked me in the gut. How often do I let the little, often unimportant, worries of life cause me to forget how abundantly I am blessed. Or worse, am I sometimes too stressed to even receive a blessing sent my way?

Now, thanks to the fresh insight brought on by this simple coffee mug, when I feel my stress level rising, I remind myself that I am too blessed to get bogged down in unnecessary silliness, pettiness, or guilt. My children are a blessing, even when they sing in loud, high-pitched squeaks like little chipmunks. My husband blesses me every day, and I don’t want to overlook that when he leaves his dirty dishes on the counter instead of tucking them in the dishwasher. Things may break in my house, and it may never stay clean for more than fifteen consecutive minutes, but I am still blessed to have a safe, secure, warm home in which to rest, enjoy my family and friends, and worship my Lord.

At Christmas time, we are bombarded with things that can push us to our limits. Sometimes it even seems as though we are expected to stress out during December. This year, I encourage you to push that convention aside and enjoy your blessings instead. Maybe that means buying fewer presents because the mall crowds are driving you crazy. Perhaps you could skip sending out Christmas cards this year, or you might leave the exterior of your house unlit, simply because you are content and won’t feel guilty about avoiding a chore you find isn’t meaningful to you this year. Whatever it may be, feel free to cut a stressor from your annual Christmas routine so you are better able to see and appreciate your blessings.

Have a wonderfully Merry Christmas!

In celebration of our Savior’s birth, I am taking a blogging break until the New Year. See you in 2010!

Productive Character

2009-11-21T10:38:00.002-07:00

“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” - Romans 5:3-4

Ten days ago, life took an unexpected turn when my husband started the day with a stomach ache and ended it in the ER having his appendix removed. Since then, caring for him has been my top priority.

In being a nurse for the past week and a half, I’m reminded of an overwhelming feeling I had when I first became a mom – unproductive. Sure I was busy when I had a new baby in my arms, but did twelve diaper changes, six feedings and four loads of laundry really count for much? It took me a while to see the immense, life-altering value in caring for my child.

These memories came back while caring for my husband. It is easy to get caught up in doing things that other people see and acknowledge. The truth is, however, that the work we do while hidden within the walls of home is often more meaningful and does more to shape our character than any other work ever could. For the past ten days, those in the outside world have seen my cancelled appointments and my declined invitations (and truthfully, even within my house, my husband and kids have noticed the little piles of “stuff” growing in the various corners of our home where the things I haven’t gotten to yet are building).

But God knows our hearts and our intentions. He understands that being a caregiver is not a natural role for me, and that it takes more thought and effort than it might for someone else. He knows that He did not gift me with any special abilities in the kitchen, so thinking up bland, soothing, post-surgery meals distracts me from some of my normal responsibilities. He acknowledges that sometimes He uses other people’s troubles to build our character.

I’ve noticed that the times in life when I’ve felt my character stretch and grow the most are the times when I have had nothing tangible to show for it. Perhaps we are not designed to produce worldly goods and divine goodness at the same time. The experiences that shape me with the most definitive edge are the ones that bring an internal change alone – no paycheck, no product, no recognition, no earthly value.

How do you know when you are being productive? Is a stronger character a valuable product?

Stop to Smell the Snowballs

2009-10-30T20:17:00.004-06:00

When snow flakes start falling, I immediately rush to an online news site to see if my kids have a snow day. I think I like snow days more than they do. These days are like little forced vacations - valid excuses to spend the day playing with my girls.

This week we had three snow days in a row. We carved out courses for the sled, made snow angels, read umpteen pages of Harry Potter (years two and six), played a dizzying number of games of Memory, found a flag and a map of Gambia for a school report, practiced memorizing the books of the Bible for Sunday school, watched too many movies, made loads of Kinzcash playing Cash Cow, and generally had fun hanging out together.

When I have a hard time slowing down to smell the roses, I can count on the snow to do it for me. I hope you get a chance to enjoy some snow time with your kids too.

Also remember to take time for yourself. I am speaking at an event called Seasons of Parenting. It features four authors speaking on various issues including keeping the spark in your marriage after kids and parenting in blended families. I am speaking on patience in parenting. I would love to see you there, on Thursday, November 12, at 7:00 pm at Kunjani Coffee in Parker. Register by November 5 at www.SensoryBibleExperiences.com. Hope to see you there!

Getting Messy With Purpose

2009-10-23T07:33:00.001-06:00

Have you ever heard of Kid Concoctions? When I was at the MOPS Convention a few weeks ago, I went to a workshop led by the founders of this ministry that teaches people how to make fun arts and crafts projects at home with their kids.

Something they said during their presentation stuck with me – the pride kids feel in having completed a project is more important than the project itself.

How often I forget the value of the process. I like the example of making a craft. The project may or may not turn out the way I thought it would. It may last a week, a day, or only an hour before finding its way to the trash can. But the memory of creating something together lasts long after the project itself has been thrown away. The skills learned through following directions and seeing a challenge through to the end serve a lifelong purpose. The pride of constructing something tangible that can be shown off to friends or grandparents builds esteem. The value goes on and on.

Sometimes we dread the mess of projects, or we have a long history of failed attempts and we don’t wish to add more. I encourage you to push these issues aside and try again (maybe with a sponge or vacuum nearby).

What personal projects are you putting off because they are too messy, either physically or emotionally? Is there a craft project you can do with your kids this weekend that will remind you of the importance of creating things together?

When Your Core Function Gets Lost In Novelty

2009-10-02T12:15:00.002-06:00

“In everything that he undertook in the service of God’s temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered.” - 2 Chronicles 31:21

Frontier Airlines’ “Woody the Wood Duck” carried me safely to Nashville, Tennessee for the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) Convention last week. My kids love the fact that Frontier not only puts animals on their planes, but also names them and has the flight attendants announce to passengers which animal is escorting them to their destination. It is a fun novelty that goes a long way with kids.

Once in Music City, I was blessed with the opportunity to stay in a hotel with a lot of novelties as well. The Gaylord Opryland Hotel was home for five days.

There are several Gaylord hotels around America, and they are absolutely gorgeous. Each is unique in its details, but all boast the trademark Gaylord Atrium, enormous glass domes that allow natural light to nourish acres of live plants inside. Water flows among the trees and flowers in a river that you can actually take a boat ride on. The Gaylord in Dallas has live alligators in one of the ponds, and the hotel in Orlando contains a real sailboat (permanently anchored) that you can board for dinner. With every turn, your senses overflow with rich colors, scents, textures and sounds.

However, when you strip away the novelty of the fine food, the soothing music, and the ducks swimming in the river, you are simply left with a hotel. This is the true function of the facility. Unfortunately, they don’t do a very good job at being a hotel. They excel at creating an enticing atmosphere in the public parts of the hotel, but at the expense of providing an equal experience in the guest rooms. The indoor boat ride loses some of its luster when you can’t get enough towels in your room, or your sheets have holes in them, or room service trays litter the hallways because they don’t get picked up regularly. No one cares about the bells and whistles when the room is dirty or inadequate.

The same is true for our family lives as well. The décor of our homes, the clothes we wear, and the dishes we serve meals on are all appreciated and valued when our families are functioning well. However, if tension, discord or pressure live within our walls, no one really cares if you change out your candles for each season or put new flowers in the pots on your porch. The occupants of a home really only care about how it looks when they first like how it feels.

How is your family feeling? If everyone is happy, getting along well, and growing, then celebrate by getting out some fall décor and announcing the change of season. However, if all is not well, skip the decorating and save your energy and focus for your key function – developing your family.

If you need to let Halloween go unnoticed this year while you strengthen family relationships, don’t worry. Christmas will be here before you know it, and your healthy family will be ready to celebrate.

Failed Plans

2009-09-21T10:24:00.002-06:00

In the years before I was a mother, the expression, "failing to plan is planning to fail," must have been deeply etched into my psyche. There is no other explanation for why, eight and a half years into motherhood, I still make plans.

Plans don't really work for moms. When I was pregnant, my hubby and I made a "birth plan." This is a false way of making a woman feel in control of a situation where she has no power whatsoever. Not a single thing in our birth plan went the way we thought it should.

Fast forward eight years, and I "planned" to spend the first part of today at a farm on a field trip with my youngest daughter, then I would hurry home to pack and get ready for my trip to Nashville for the MOPS Annual Convention. I am leaving tomorrow. However, since I am writing this, you can guess that I am not at the farm. The trip was thankfully postponed because it is snowing outside. Had it not been postponed,however, I wouldn't be there anyway because on the way to school my daughter threw up all over herself, the back of the car, her booster seat, and her backpack. So, instead of washing the clothes I need to pack later today, I have a "special" load going.

As moms, the only thing we can really count on is that life is unexpected. When we face it with a sense of flexibility and a willingness to tackle change head-on, we can manage life pretty well. When we get too rigid in our expectations, we end up always feeling like we've been puked on.

Thankfully, God is with us whether things go the way we think they should or not. He directs us through the obstacle course of change, and equips us with what we need for each moment. I am thankful that He made it cold and snowy on the day I had to clean up the back of my car. Had it been hot and sunny like it was yesterday, the smell probably would have made me sick along with my daughter. And that is something I definitely didn't plan for.

I won't be posting again until next week since I am "planning" to be in Nashville. Have a blessed week!

Untwisting

2009-09-11T11:23:00.002-06:00

Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him." - Matthew 8:7

I love people watching. Recently, I enjoyed lunch on an outside patio near a street fair. From my seat, I observed people visiting a chiropractor’s booth. He had them stand on raised footpads in front of a grid showing how the hips, spine and shoulders should be aligned.

Most people were crooked, so the doctor twisted their hips and adjusted their shoulders until they matched the grid.

How often I feel misaligned. Issues with my kids push my mothering hip out to the left, reminiscent of the days when it held a wriggling baby at my side. The weight of financial burdens force one shoulder down, while the other one tips forward in frustration toward my husband after a squabble. The demands of daily life twist and turn me until I am all out of whack.

Amazingly however, in one brief moment, I can begin to straighten out, and it has nothing to do with a chiropractor. As soon as I close my eyes in prayer, I feel myself relax. I murmur, “Father God,” and my spine stretches upright, closer to His presence. With, “I need your help,” my shoulders ease as I relieve myself of my burdens and my hips pull back into place as I trust Him to handle the details and trials of life.

Need an alignment (either physical or mental)? Take it to the master healer.

Age Appropriate

2009-08-28T13:37:00.003-06:00

“Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous.” 1 John 3:7

Seemingly out of the blue, my eight-year-old daughter became a thrill seeker. She suddenly developed an interest in scary movies, “big kid” amusement park rides, and cruising around on her bike without using her hands.

This is a perfectly normal development for an eight-year-old. However, it brings a new twist on determining what is age appropriate, particularly when it comes to books and movies. Unfortunately, most media products don’t grow one developmental milestone at a time the way kids do. A child who is ready for more action and adventure in movies may not be prepared for the additional violence, foul language, or romantic themes that often come along for the ride.

We ran into this issue earlier this month when my daughter wanted to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Since she had already read the book, I went to the theater myself to preview the film version. Usually I turn to on-line reviewers, such as kidsinmind.com, but I had a hard time deciding whether this movie would be appropriate or not, so I checked it out in person. The next day, I returned to the theater with my daughter for a girl’s night out at the movies, but not before having a conversation about all the kissing she was about to see. The movie gave me a nice excuse to have one of many conversations about personal boundaries and appropriate shows of affection.

Books can be a bit easier to manage than movies. After all, the imagination generally doesn’t go into unfamiliar territory. When my daughter wants to read something I am unfamiliar with, I either have a quick chat with the school librarian (who is always happy to advise me on age appropriate books) or my daughter and I read the book together so we can discuss any questionable themes in the context of the story.

Not sure what is age appropriate or what new stages you should expect to see in your child? Check out parentcenter.com. They have information on child development from birth through age eight.

Being Prepared Feels So Good

2009-08-20T12:18:00.004-06:00

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:13

Hello, Mom! I missed you while I was on my blogging break. I hope you are having a wonderful summer.

One Sunday last month, I got to participate in a street festival in the town where I live. The local library had a booth there and they let different authors take turns working it to promote their books.

Unfortunately, traffic was not as brisk as I hoped. However, I had my trusty notebook and pen with me. I didn’t sell much, so instead I sat happily in my booth writing. I have never had six hours to sit and write. It was wonderful. The creative juices were flowing and I felt a true sense of accomplishment from getting so much down on paper.

Had I not had a pen and paper with me, it would have been a wasted day. Instead, it turned out to be more productive than I ever could have predicted.

Is there something you enjoy doing that you don’t get much time for? See if there is a way to bring it with you for those unexpected moments of downtime. I know one mom who tucks family photos in an envelope that she keeps in her car so she can sort them for scrapbooking projects while waiting in the carpool line at her son’s school. Another friend balances her checkbook and pays bills from the side of the soccer field so she can do more enjoyable things with her family after practice. Maybe you could keep a small notebook in your purse so you can take advantage of unexpected free minutes to plan or organize upcoming projects.

I keep a plastic bin on the front passenger seat of my car. It holds my purse, a box of tissues, a coupon book, and other items I like to have within easy reach while I’m driving. It is also a great spot to store my paper, as well as other little projects I take on the go. These items stay protected in my bin and don’t end up all over the floor of the car if I have to suddenly hit the brakes. Plus, I can easily move the bin to the back of the car when I carry a front seat passenger with me.

What can you take along to make it easier for you to take advantage of unexpected free minutes?

If you are not currently receiving my Monthly Answers for Moms, e-mail me at dianne@motheringlikethefather.com and I will add you to the list. Each month you will receive a free parenting tip via e-mail! Plus, in September I am offering discounts on my parent coaching services exclusively for moms on my Monthly Answers list. Don’t miss out!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I am on blog vacation for the month of July. Please visit again in August. Thank you!

2009-07-03T13:08:00.002-06:00

Training Good Losers

2009-06-19T21:48:00.002-06:00

“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair--every good path.” - Proverbs 2:9

Last week, my kids started summer sports. My oldest plays baseball, while my six-year-old loves soccer.

On the day of her first baseball practice, my daughter had a friend over to play. They decided to entertain themselves with a card game. All was going well as they enjoyed a spirited competition, but then I said, “You can each play one more hand and then we need to get ready to leave for baseball practice.”

As it turned out, playing one more hand left my daughter the loser of the game. Had they played two more hands, she could have won. Her loss prompted an uncharacteristic outburst directed towards me. “If we could have played longer, I could have won. Thanks a lot!”

Teaching our kids to be good sports can be tough. Many kids can master the art of gracious winning, but helping them learn to have good attitudes in the face of defeat can take some work. Remind them of how it feels to win when playing with someone who loses well, and how it feels to compete against a poor loser. Then let them know that getting to play includes doing a good job of finishing the game, regardless of the results. Some kids will need a later reminder by having you say, “I’m sorry honey, but you don’t get to play cards this time because I need to help you learn to handle yourself better when you don’t win. As soon as you’ve shown me that you can play nicely whether you win or not, you can play again.” Most moms only have this conversation once before they start seeing better attitudes from their kids. Also, make sure that when you play games with your child, sometimes let him win and other times let him lose. This lets him practice responding to both situations, and gives you an opportunity to coach him if he has trouble or praise him when he handles the situation well.

By the time baseball practice started, my daughter’s competitive spirit was back on track. As we walked toward the car when she was done, she commented, “Did you see that boy who wasn’t playing like a good sport?” I love those life lessons that come full circle in only an hour.

How do you help your child learn to be gracious in defeat?

Smiling In The Rain

2009-06-04T15:36:00.003-06:00

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." - James 1:2-3

There are a lot of things I love about my husband, but one characteristic I especially appreciate is his positive outlook. His ability to turn virtually any situation into a positive experience triumphed this past week while we were on vacation.

Thinking that a week of hiking would be a great way to kick off summer vacation, we headed to the mountains for one of our favorite family hobbies. The first couple of days were wonderful. We basked in beautiful weather and enjoyed the bright sunshine and clear skies. However, on the third day, the rain started and did not end.

Thankfully, my husband and I believe that a good time can be found anywhere and in any situation. Not to be deterred by the rain, we watched movies and read books, like everyone does when it is wet outside. However, we also went sightseeing, explored mountain towns, and had fun walking in the rain. My husband said, “We’re not going to let the rain slow us down.” And we didn’t.

The kids had a great time too. They never complained about being wet (which they clearly were) or cold (which I assume they were because I was) or walking on sidewalks and paved trails rather than our customary dirt paths. They went along with our altered plans, smiling all the way.

I truly believe that the attitudes of parents become those of the children. Adults who are positive and find silver linings amidst the storm clouds tend to have kids with great outlooks. I even think that parents can influence some change in a child’s natural attitude wiring. We often tease my youngest daughter by calling her Eeyore. She and the lovable donkey from Winnie The Pooh share a flare for the negative. However, as my daughter gets older, I notice a positive view of life trumping the negative more and more.

What is your general outlook, Mom? Do you notice your kids being more positive when you point out the blessings of life? Do you hear more complaining from your little ones on days when the world weighs heavily on your shoulders? How do you notice your attitude influencing your children?

The Look of Love

2009-05-27T20:11:00.001-06:00

We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

I joyfully watched my niece get married last Friday. With the ceremony held in a garden, it was, of course, beautiful. My daughters were flower girls, and I smiled with them in shared excitement as they sprinkled petals down the aisle ahead of their cousin.

My favorite part of the night however, was not the stunning wedding gown, the amazing bouquet, or my adorable girls trying to line dance in their full-length flower girl dresses. My favorite part was the way the groom looked at his bride. His entire expression transformed every time he turned his gaze towards her. His eyes softened, his cheeks relaxed, and his face filled with pure love.

That is how God looks at us—with pure, unchanging, all-consuming love. I hope my husband and my children see that look from me, but I know the truth is that sometimes my expression is less than they deserve. I hope my new nephew-in-law (or whatever you call your niece’s husband) never stops looking at his wife that way, but in reality, they will probably have the same bumps all couples experience.

But God never has bumps in His relationships. When we screw up and wander away from Him, He may discipline and correct us, but His love never changes. Even when we defiantly run in the opposite direction, He doesn’t get frustrated and give up. He insists that we ask His forgiveness and make things right, but He adores us every step of the way.

Are you feeling God look at you with love today, Mom?

Dangerous Encounters

2009-05-14T16:51:00.002-06:00

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

My family lives in a rural area where we share our dwelling space with wild animals. We routinely wait for mule deer to move so we can pull into the driveway. Over time, the sound of coyotes howling in the night stopped pulling us out of our slumber. We learned little tricks to make life with our land-mates more successful, including the installation of high-frequency devices that minimize eight-legged visitors.

When we first moved in, we would regularly go to the lower level of our ranch-style house and be greeted by fifteen to twenty European house spiders in the hallway. These “intruders” are venom-free, but creepy all the same. And despite their harmless nature, we were relieved to find a device that kept most of them out of the house.

Unfortunately, not all of the spiders we live with are safe. Occasionally a deadly, venomous black widow finds its way in. We know where they wriggle into our home, so we monitor that area diligently, and regularly spray an insecticide around the perimeter of the house.

Last week, we busily prepared our yard for a big Mother’s Day celebration. After being neglected all winter, the yard needed a lot of attention. My husband recruited our daughters to help by loading some small rocks into a wheelbarrow so he could roll them away.

That night, my six-year-old crawled into my bed around 4 am saying she couldn’t sleep due to bad dreams about spiders. I asked if she had seen a spider recently, and she affirmed that three shiny black arachnids lurked under the rocks the girls moved earlier in the day. In our yard, we only have one type of shiny black spider – black widows.

A sick twist grew in the pit of my stomach as she relayed the details of finding the spiders. She and her sister hadn’t seen one in quite a while and didn’t recognize them as dangerous. In their ignorance, they didn’t think to tell anyone. Horrible thoughts invaded my mind as I pictured my babies sitting face to face with death. My older daughter smooshed one with a rock. Thinking of her getting that close made me want to throw up.

But then a wave of peace washed over me as I remembered that I am not the only one who loves my girls and works like crazy to protect them. Their Father safeguards them better than I ever could. Whether I am there or not, He always has them in His sight. I cannot protect them from every danger the world throws their way, and reality shows me that God will not. But their safety is out of my control more often than I like to admit, and I am thankful that they are sheltered in the very best hands.

Coincidently, I have had a few conversations this week with people paralyzed by different fears. They are well-founded, rational concerns, rooted in real-life troubles. However, we tend to respond to fear with knee-jerk reactions (like my initial response to the black widow incident, which was, “Let’s sell the house and get away from these blasted bugs!”).

The most we can do to avoid disaster is to take proper precautions (like reminding the girls to stay away from shiny black things), use common sense to the best of our abilities, and trust God. We cannot live in constant fear of what might happen, or let the unknown dictate how we go through our days. Living in fear means we’re not living in faith.

What fears are you or your kids facing right now? What can you turn over to God in trust?

Timing Really Is Everything

2009-05-08T17:00:00.002-06:00

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. - Ecclesiastes 3:1

Yesterday, my eight-year-old went outside to ride her bike. This may seem like a routine thing for a kid to do, and not something worth blogging about. For most third graders, bike riding is as normal as walking. For my daughter, however, this is not the case. Her nemesis took the form of a bicycle about two years ago.

With training wheels as her constant companion, my little biker did pretty well cruising up and down our long (and bumpy) country driveway. But one sunny day, we decided to try riding on a long, smooth, concrete path in town. Our adventure progressed so well that my husband and I thought it was time for our daughter to try a genuine two-wheeler, without training wheels.

As I am sure you can guess, I wouldn’t be writing about this event had we gone on to enjoy a successful bike ride. Instead, fast forward to the present day where any mention of bike riding sent my daughter into hiding. One day I insisted she practice, with me holding her on the bike. I explained that “someday you will have to know how to ride a bike. How else will you get around at college?” She quickly rebutted with, “I’ll drive.”

Yesterday, however, she came home from school and said, “I’m going to try riding my bike.” I have no idea what brought about this change of heart, and I was too dumbstruck to ask any questions. Instead, I watched in amazement as she sat on the bike with her feet on the ground and found her balance. She set her peddles into a precise position, then went into motion. At first she only went about half of a yard before her feet sought solid ground, but within thirty minutes, she was riding her two-wheeler, all on her own, to the end of the driveway and back.

That night I told her how proud I was of her for riding her bike. She said, “I guess I’m finally tall enough to fit the bike.” I assured her that she was tall enough the day we bought it for her. What had grown was her confidence, along with her sense of determination. No matter how much her dad and I (as well as her sister, grandparents, cousins and friends) had tried convincing her that she could do it and would enjoy it, no one could make her ride a bike. She would never do it until she was ready.

Timing is a funny thing. We all have things that we should be able to do, yet somehow we aren’t quite ready to take the necessary steps. I often meet moms stuck in this phase of limbo when it comes to being consistent in their discipline techniques. They know they should be able to discipline their children, they want to do it, yet something holds them back from actually doing it.

We all know that you can’t make a kid use the potty until he is ready, and all of the potty-training know-how in the world won’t make him ready.

Most of us have known high school seniors who, despite good grades and big ambitions, just aren’t ready to go to leave home for college.

Accepting when the timing isn’t right can be frustrating. Overcoming a readiness hurdle, whether in ourselves or in our children, requires both prayer and patience until something within eventually gets into gear and we move forward. Forcing the issue gets us nowhere, especially when it comes to kids.

I am grateful that the time is finally right for my daughter to be a bike rider. Now if I can just hold out until she is ready to use the brakes…

What are you wishing you were ready for but the timing just doesn’t seem to be right? What are you wishing your kids were ready for?

Rejection Lessons

2009-04-24T20:58:00.002-06:00

For the LORD will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance. - Psalm 94:14

As a writer, I know that rejection is a regular part of life. Sometimes an editor doesn’t like my writing style, or recently bought a similar piece, or simply doesn’t have a need for my work at the moment. Rejection comes with the business, but it always stings a bit.

Today, however, I experienced rejection in a whole new way. In an attempt to find some extra money, I purged my closet of my old business suits and took them to a consignment store. The friendly shop owner politely told me that she doesn’t carry suits because they don’t sell well. When asked if she knew anyone who might take them, she referred me to another store in town.

I hauled my suits to the next consignment store, where I heard that they were too old and out of style. So much for “classic” tailoring. However, I left with the name of yet another consignment shop.

At my third stop, I learned my duds weren’t “high end” enough. The fact that this small pile of clothes cost over $500 ten years ago is apparently meaningless in today’s resale world.

Repeatedly hearing that one’s clothes are old and cheap brings personal rejection to a whole new level, but despite this, each dismissal spurred me on to try another store. The embarrassment of peddling unwanted clothes faded, and I became boldly determined to find someone who would take my former treasures.

I started thinking, “I’d better go home and submit some stories for publication because I am not sure I’ll feel this comfortable with rejection ever again.”

Tomorrow I plan to get busy trying to consign my kids’ clothes. I think I will let them be part of the process so they can learn to get comfy with rejection too. Perhaps hearing their former favorites are undesirable will toughen them up a bit and help make the next playground squabble or careless remark from a friend just a little less hurtful.

Have you ever found a way to manage the sting of rejection for yourself or your kids? If not, I have some old suits you can try to consign!

Hair Affair

2009-04-15T15:43:00.002-06:00

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. - 1 Peter 3:3-4

My daughters both have very long, pretty, “little girl” hair. I think their long hair is beautiful, but my husband loves it. He thinks it is exactly the length of hair little girls should have. He likes it when I style their hair in braids, pony tails, and other little girl styles. When it comes to our daughters’ appearance, he generally doesn’t have much to say. His only request is that they have long hair.

The girls, however, are ready for a change. They both want to cut their tresses before summer so they can stay a little cooler. They also want to donate their hair to Locks of Love, an organization that makes real-hair wigs for children without hair due to illness.

I am glad for their generous spirits regarding their hair. I want to make sure they understand that their beauty comes not from their hair or any other physical feature. Rather, it comes from the light of Jesus shining within them. A kind heart looks better than the latest hair style on anyone.

We’ve all come to an agreement (Dad included) that the girls can cut their hair once they’ve got enough to donate Locks of Love’s minimum requirement of ten inches and can still have shoulder-length styles after their cuts.

What are some of the fashion or personal style issues at work in your family right now?

Cheering For The Home Team

2009-04-10T13:20:00.000-06:00

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:11

This week, my daughters started a cheerleading class. Once a week they go to learn different cheers, jumps, and tumbling techniques. They love getting to shout, sing, and root for an imaginary team.

I hope they feel well-equipped for this because they’ve always had a cheerleader at home. I make a purposeful effort to let them know I think they are the best. We celebrate their victories and rejoice in their efforts.

Everyone needs to know there is a cheerleader in their corner rooting for them no matter the challenge or the outcome.

One way we show support in our family is with the “candle of honor.” When someone makes a meaningful accomplishment, he or she gets a special candle at their place at the dinner table. Share some ways you cheer on your family members with love.

Fighting To Stay On Course

2009-04-03T16:39:00.001-06:00

Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. – Proverbs 10:4
Along with most of the country, my husband and I recently renewed our commitment to battle debt. We seem to have a bad habit of working hard to follow a budget and save money for a few months, then we get lazy and succumb to credit card convenience. Eventually something catches our attention enough to get us back on track, at least for a while.

This financial teeter totter is exhausting, primarily because the hardest part of sticking to a budget is the first few months when you have to work out the kinks and figure out how to handle unexpected expenses. By repeatedly giving up and starting over, we redo the hard part over and over again. Our laziness and the ease with which we fall back into familiar patterns not only keep us from making any real headway, but in the long run they add stress and hardship to the process.

I find this happens in other areas of life as well. I develop a good habit of going to the gym on a regular basis, but as soon as I catch a cold and skip a few days, I return to my old ways and fill that time with something easier. I figure out a system for keeping my house clean, but as soon as a writing deadline or school field trip breaks my pattern, the dust starts collecting.

Thankfully, the Bible gives us instructions for battling this problem. 1 Timothy 6:11 tells us to “flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.” In other words, when we find ourselves wondering off track, we are to purposefully strive for living in ways that please God. The term “endurance” used in this passage means that we regroup, we shake off “the lazies” and get back to doing what we know is right. Of course, this has to be done with plenty of prayer. I have never been successful at overcoming a struggle without God’s help.

This is a great thing to talk about with our kids. Let them know when you set a new budget so they understand why you are going home for lunch instead of stopping at McDonald’s. You may even find your kids helping you stay on track. You can also help them set a budget for their allowance money. My kids divide their earnings into separate piggy banks for saving, spending and offering. When we started this system, I suggested a formula for spreading the money between the three banks, but they decide for themselves how to actually divide the money. They get 10 quarters every week, so I recommended putting one in offering (ten percent), four in savings (forty percent) and five in spending (fifty percent). I am amazed every week when they put the bulk of their money in offering, the next biggest chunk in savings, and only a quarter or two in spending. Sometimes kids can really teach us a thing or two about Godly living (or maybe I have been too quick to buy things for them so they assume they don’t need spending money!). Encourage your kids to help the whole family stay on a budget.

Do you have any suggestions for staying the course when things get tough? Share your ideas!

When To Step In

2009-03-22T08:04:00.003-06:00

“I have done no wrong, yet they are ready to attack me. Arise to help me; look on my plight!” - Psalm 59:4

Recently, we got together with another family for dinner. My husband and I enjoy this couple, but we only see them a couple of times a year. Part of the reason for this infrequency is that our kids don’t particularly enjoy theirs.

Our friends’ kids love playing, they have creative ideas for games, and they are very energetic. The problem is not in finding things to play; it is in the way they play. Throughout the evening, my younger daughter came to me with regular reports on how their playmates were hurting her, using poor manners, and behaving disrespectfully. When we got home she said, “Sometimes those kids are just too much for me.” My older daughter came home with the news that she was repeatedly hit, pushed, poked, and kicked throughout the evening, but since she wasn’t seriously hurt, she hadn’t mentioned it while we were out.

In the past, we have coached our girls through ways of handling situations with these kids. We suggested things to say to work out the conflicts that inevitably arise. However, things appeared to have gone too far this time, and we told our girls that when their friends are irritating or annoying, they need to try to work it out themselves. If they get hit or physically touched in any way they don’t like, they can tell us and we will step in.

Generally, I don’t like getting involved in kids’ squabbles. I think it often causes more problems than it solves. What’s more, kids need to learn the art of negotiation. They will clash with people their entire lives, and won’t always have mom and dad there to help smooth things over. The earlier we can give them tools to work out their own problems, the more practiced they will be when they go out into the world on their own.

However, sometimes there comes a point where things go too far and our children really do need us to intervene. In the process of learning how to work things out, sometimes they need an advocate, particularly when they are under physical attack. It is especially difficult for kids when the one who’s after them is not their sibling. When it comes to brothers and sisters, many kids will just hit right back. But most kids know not to get rough with those outside the family, so they need help learning how to respond to this type of situation.

Kids also need to know that they have the support of their parents when social situations get sticky. Share what you do help your kids when they have trouble dealing with others.

Next week we will continue on this topic by talking about ways to help our kids avoid being the source of playtime problems.

Fighting The Global Food Crisis

2009-03-13T12:07:00.003-06:00

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” – Matthew 25:35-40

If you listen to K-LOVE radio, you probably know that Wednesday, March 11 was Global Food Crisis Day. The radio network teamed up with Compassion International to spread the word about our world-wide hunger epidemic and to raise money to feed starving children.

According to the United Nations World Food program, families in every nation on the planet are struggling with rising food prices, food shortages, and in many areas, natural disasters. They call this combination a “perfect storm” for malnutrition and starvation. Approximately 4.4 million children die every year from this problem.

While I have always had a heart for kids, I found myself more passionate about children’s issues after becoming a mom. I felt more compassion for the heartbreak a mother faces when she has to decide which child will eat today because she doesn’t have enough to feed her entire family. I cry more quickly when I hear stories of kids eating cookies made of dirt to help lessen the hunger pangs. When I look at the bounty in my own pantry, I can’t help but whisper a prayer for those with nothing.

Amazingly, it costs very little money in our culture to feed those in another. The average cost of feeding a child in a developing country for an entire month is only $13. As a mom, I feel the need to not only take care of my children, but to help other little ones as well. If you feel the same way, go to compassion.com and click on the words “Global Food Crisis” to donate.

Sadly, kids are also starving right here in our own communities and neighborhoods. We can help those families by making sure our local food banks are well stocked. At a time when most of us are feeling a financial squeeze, it can seem overwhelming to take on the needs of others. Thankfully, we don’t have to do it ourselves. Help your kids pull a wagon around your neighborhood and ask each family on your block to donate one canned food item. Think about how quickly you could collect 30, 40, even 50 cans for your community's food bank!

By working together, we can each do a small part in making a big difference for hungry children around the world. What ideas can you share for helping people get enough to eat?

What A Wonderful World

2009-03-06T13:49:00.003-07:00

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. - 1 Peter 2:9

An interesting thing happened today. Two separate people sent me two unrelated e-mails with links to cute/inspiring online videos. I enjoyed them both immensely, but the uncanny thing about this was that both videos were set to the same song—Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.”

I realize that YouTube is full of videos set to this beloved song, but I don’t think it appeared twice in my inbox by coincidence. In fact, I received these two e-mails several days apart, but opened them one right after the other. I didn’t know what either message contained, but was greeted with the same song twice in a row. I don’t think this was a coincidence either. Today, I needed a reminder that this truly is a wonderful world.

Just before opening these, I sat down to write my weekly blog post. “I’ll just quickly check my e-mail first,” I told myself. This was my way of procrastinating because I wasn’t quite sure what to blog about. My brain was swirling with thoughts about my husband’s grandmother who is in serious condition after having a heart attack yesterday. I considered posting some thoughts about managing our schedules after having a heart-to-heart this morning with a friend who is feeling out of control because she tries to do too much. Or maybe I would write something to encourage the women out there who’s husband’s don’t know God, since another friend was lamenting about that issue earlier today. I had plenty of depressing topics to choose from.

But then I heard this song, and it reminded me that despite the troubles and worries of everyday life, God is mighty. We truly do live in a wonderful world. He created not only a beautiful place for us to live, but amazing people to share our experience with. When we strip away the politics and the economics, we can find our way to a simple truth. At its core, life is good. God loves us so much that every day He gives us another beautiful sunrise, a breeze to blow away the mistakes and regrets of yesterday, and a warm sun to encourage us to try again.

If you are feeling down, or frustrated, or alone today, take a step outside and enjoy this wonderful world. Consider it a gift from your Father.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email

Selective Hearing

2009-02-26T13:01:00.003-07:00

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” – Proverbs 3:5

Yesterday, Ash Wednesday marked the beginning of the Lenten season of forty days leading to Easter. My daughters attended a church service with me last night while my husband played in the praise band.

The service was advertised as a “family” service, which to me meant it would be geared toward kids with a message the younger crowd could appreciate. Imagine my surprise when the sermon was about David’s adulterous encounter with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband. I never would have guessed that church would be where my children learned the word “affair.” I also didn’t think it would be the place where they would find out babies don’t always come after marriage, the way I have implied. When we got to the car, I asked my kids what they thought about the service. Thankfully, they both agreed that they didn’t understand a lot of it because “the guy talking used too many big words.” Whew, maybe we dodged a couple of bullets there.

However, despite her lack of understanding some vocabulary, the Lord still used that service to work a transformation in my eight-year-old’s heart. The whole way home she happily chattered on about how she had gotten out of the habit of reading the Bible every day and wanted to resume the discipline. She asked if we could read from the Bible before dinner each night during Lent, and if she could start getting up earlier in the morning to have time to pray or work through her devotional guide. She asked if it was okay to pray at school. She also expressed her sadness for a girl who doesn’t know Jesus, and said she wanted to tell her friend about Him at recess. Clearly, while I was worrying about what was said in the service, God was speaking to her in an entirely different way.

I love that about God. I find it fascinating that He can lead two people in the same worship service to hear two entirely different things. My oldest daughter left the service on fire, I left trying to figure out how I would explain some of the speaker’s more colorful descriptions of David’s behavior, and my youngest left wondering how long it would be before she could get home and into bed. She also wanted to know why everyone had ashes on their foreheads. The same experience left us in different emotional states and fueled unique responses in how to move forward in faith.

This experience has me feeling a bit more confident in sending my daughter out into the world at large. While I believe it is important to let kids enjoy the innocence of youth and to shield young children from some of the harsher realities of life, I can now see that I am not alone in this effort. God is obviously at work in filling her ears with what He has to say, protecting her from things she doesn’t need to hear. That doesn’t mean she is oblivious to the four-letter words that float around the third grade, or the way her peers all giggle at the word “sex,” but I trust that God can temper her understanding of these things until she is developmentally ready for them.

Have you ever had an experience where someone at church gave your child more information than you hoped? What was the result of this?

Celebrating YOU!

2009-02-13T12:08:00.002-07:00

“They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.” - Psalm 145:7

I am a day late in posting to my blog because yesterday was overrun with Valentine’s Day celebrations. My kids don’t have school today, so they both had class parties yesterday. My hubby and I honored the day of love with a dinner out last night because on the real Valentine’s Day I will be selling Girl Scout cookies with my daughter at Safeway (and people say romance is dead).

In the midst of the festivities, it occurred to me that we recognize every holiday, achievement, and milestone for our kids, while not taking the time to celebrate our own accomplishments. I have never done anything to commemorate the publishing of a story, article, or even my book. I didn’t go out or raise a toast after my first speaking engagement, or when I completed my parent coaching certification. My personal growth gets stirred in with the carpooling kids, making dinner, and checking homework of daily life. I don’t do anything to take my special moments and set them apart. Perhaps you don't celebrate your success either.

This is a mistake in several ways. First of all, everyone deserves recognition. Occasionally hearing “atta girl” is good for our self esteem. It is healthy to have someone recognize our efforts once in a while. Secondly, it is good for our kids to celebrate us. They need to understand that moms are whole people who contribute more to the world than macaroni lunches and rides to soccer practice. Letting them learn how to be proud of other people, and how to express that pride, is a great skill for them to have when they have spouses and children (and employees or coworkers) of their own. Thirdly, letting our spouses see us in a different light can be good for kindling a little romance. When we celebrate, we typically trade in our everyday garb for something a bit more special. We often put more effort into our hair and make-up. And what celebration is complete without wine and chocolate? After the kids go to bed, let your hubby spend a little time showing you just how great you really are.

Most importantly, when we celebrate, we can make a point of publicly (even if our family is the only “public” there) acknowledging our gratitude to God for using us in meaningful ways. 2 Corinthians 9:8 tells us, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” Our ability to accomplish the things that are important to us comes from God. We must always remember that and give Him thanks. When we start thinking our good work is ours alone, we wade into dangerous waters.

Remember, mom, you are important and your accomplishments (even little ones) are cause for celebration. Go get the party started! I have a big speaking engagement coming up next week. I think I’ll go put a bottle of wine in the fridge for the festivities.

25 Random Things

2009-02-05T16:35:00.003-07:00

I know this is a departure from my typical blog post, but several of my friends on Facebook and Twitter have tagged me for “25 Random Things” and I figured it would be easier to direct everyone to my blog for this list.

If you are on Facebook or Twitter and we aren’t “friends” yet, look me up – I would love to keep up with what you are doing.

So, here is the list – 25 random things about me:

1. I love all things chocolate—the darker the better—as long as they are gluten free.
2. I was mostly gluten free for about three ½ years before becoming completely gluten free a little over two years ago.
3. The only organizational systems that work for me are the kinds where I can see what is inside – I am an out-of-sight out-of-mind kind of worker.
4. Thankfully I am not an out-of-sight out-of mind friend, and those I see the least are those I think about most often.
5. I used to be a cat person until I got my dog. She is definitely the greatest dog ever. Now I am a cat and dog person.
6. I would love to go on the K-LOVE Friends and Family Music Cruise.
7. Every time I have to teach Sunday school I think, “Ugh, I don’t want to go.” And every time I have so much fun that I leave thinking, “I should do this more often.” I teach kindergarteners and first graders once a month.
8. See number seven and replace the words Sunday school with “the gym.” Same concept applies.
9. More time to read would be lovely.
10. It will be a thrilling day when my youngest daughter can ride her bike without needing me to come help every three minutes. Of course, when she’s all grown up I know I’ll sit around thinking, “I wish I would have helped her more with her bike riding.”
11. Actually, I AM going to go help her ride her bike—I’ll be back in a little bit…
12. When I was a teenager I loved gum. I always had a piece in my mouth. Now I find it annoying to chew, the flavor never lasts long enough, and it leaves a weird taste in my mouth when I spit it out.
13. I don’t know why anyone drinks regular Coke when Diet Coke tastes so good.
14. For our honeymoon, my husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta. We would both like to go back again sometime.
15. If I could talk my husband into it, I would move to Mexico for a year. My Spanish would move from pathetic to fabulous, the sale of my American house could buy a lot of groceries there, and any culture that takes a nap in the middle of the afternoon gets two thumbs up.
16. I loved swimming when I was a kid and I swam every day in the summer. Now I don’t like it because I hate getting cold and don’t like having to shower and get ready twice in one day.
17. Did I mention that I really like chocolate?
18. I also like chai tea.
19. I do not like coffee. Never have, probably never will.
20. When I was in college I interned for a year doing public relations “for the stars” in Los Angeles.
21. At 15, I brilliantly rode my bike in the dark, wrecked, and broke my jaw. I still have a pin in my jaw to prove it.
22. The pin does not set off the metal detector at the airport, but it does make the remote control for locking and unlocking my car work from farther away. Nice feature.
23. I am apparently a Facebook loser because I don’t know what it means to poke someone, have a snowball fight with someone, or grow a lil’ green garden.
24. You’ll be really happy if you visit my blog again next week, and if you leave me a comment!
25. You’ll be even happier if you go to amazon.com and buy my new book, Mothering Like The Father: Following God’s Example In Parenting Young Children.
26. I’m glad you are my friend! (I know it is only supposed to be 25, but I couldn’t resist throwing in a bonus item.)

At Risk

2009-01-30T10:29:00.002-07:00

“The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.” - Ecclesiastes 9:11

Seat belts. Helmets. Hand sanitizer. Our days fill up with efforts to minimize our risk related to the various dangers of life. Most of our attempts at safety are for the best. After all, no one wants to spend the day in the emergency room. But at what point do we take caution too far?

Perhaps more importantly, what are we teaching our children about fear?

How do we instill an understanding of the need for reasonable precautions while encouraging our kids to take appropriate risks? We don’t want our kids growing up afraid to take a chance on a friendship, on the sporting field, or in the classroom. What would childhood be like if we were all too afraid to ever get on a bicycle or climb a tree? What would our adult lives look like if we had been too afraid as teenagers to try driving, or dating, or auditioning for the school play?

We tend to grow the most through the experiences that challenge us. Likewise, experts say that self esteem is built not through the praise of others, but by proving to ourselves that we can succeed at the things we find difficult. In order to do this, we need to take a chance and try the things that challenge us, and so do our kids.

One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Timothy 1:7. It says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” What can you do to encourage your child to develop the spirit God gave her? Does she need encouragement to try something new? Does she need the opportunity to practice a budding skill until it finally blossoms? Is she yearning for the chance to stretch a little too far without fearing that you will call her back too soon?

If letting go is difficult, ask God to show you areas where you can comfortably let your child take a greater risk. Also ask Him where you can go out on a limb yourself. Sometimes the best way to encourage our kids to take a scary step is by taking it ourselves.

What can you do this week to teach your child to be bold rather than fearful?

Goal or Dream?

2009-01-22T09:21:00.003-07:00

“Then Job replied to the Lord: I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:1-2

Last year I set a big, life-changing sort of goal for myself. I decided that I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro by the time I am 40. I got my husband on board, and we set out a plan to start training, and saving money, for this expedition that would challenge us both physically and financially.

We got out our calendars and planned regular hiking trips throughout the spring, preparing us to tackle two “14ers” (mountains with summit elevations over 14,000 feet above sea level) during the summer. I also started looking for ways to save little bits of money here and there, hoping to save enough to put a dent in the price tag of this trip.

Fast forward about a year to today. While we did get in some fabulous hiking last year, little of it was difficult enough to truly constitute “training” since we ended up taking our kids with us every time. This made for great family bonding, as well as good exercise, but hardly prepared us to take on the big mountains we planned to face during the summer. As a result, the highest elevation we hit last year was around 9,400 feet. Additionally, my savings plan clearly needs modification since my personal piggy bank is disappointingly light.

The state of this situation led me to question whether I am truly pursuing a goal or merely chasing a dream. I see a goal as something you work toward with a strategic plan for accomplishing well-defined benchmarks along the way. When you get off track, you re-collect yourself and try again. A dream, on the other hand, is something that is more likely to stay in your head, feeling exciting and offering a sense of hope, while never actually becoming an action of your hands and feet.

So what happened over the past year to demote my goal to mere dream status? A couple of things got in the way, including the pursuit of another goal—getting my book published. Additionally, daily life with two young children and changes in my husband’s work seemed to control the schedule more than I did. This fact is perhaps the most telling in deciding whether something is a goal or a dream. When you are focused on accomplishing something, its place in your schedule is sacred. When you dream of something, you allow other activities to come first. Clearly for me, getting my book out was a priority over mountain climbing last year. That is okay with me.

One of my favorite sayings is, “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.” Last year was the time for the book. Perhaps this will be the year for the mountain climbing. Once again, I am going to schedule regular hiking trips (some with the kids and some with child care) and hopefully make it to 14,000 feet this summer. I am going to fine tune my savings plan, since I now only have four years to either win the lottery or save an equivalent amount before turning 40. In short, I am going to move Kilimanjaro from dream status back to goal status (I’ll let you know how it goes since I have two more books in the works!).

This week, I encourage you to consider what your goals are versus your dreams. What steps are you taking to accomplish something meaningful to you? What physical reminders can you put in place around you to help keep you on track? These might be things like notes to yourself, a special quill on your desk to remind you to write, or a photo of Kilimanjaro to inspire you. Share your goals and dreams with us – let’s inspire and encourage each other in our endeavors.

On a separate note, I now have the devotional page up and running on my web site. Check out a weekly look at how the Book of Philippians relates to our lives as moms. www.motheringlikethefather.com

Great Is His Faithfulness

2009-01-15T14:24:00.001-07:00

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. – Psalm 57:10

Last week I was lamenting over a bad day of book sales. How silly of me to forget, for even one day, how faithful our God truly is. In the midst of my whining and complaining, He blessed me with contracts on not one, not two, but four pieces I had written for compilation books. Not only that, but this week my book sales are doing great.

How like me to let one set back knock my whole train off its rail. I imagine God must be looking down from Heaven thinking, “How much does this woman need? I bless her socks off day after day, but the minute things get rough she falls apart!” Do you ever feel this way, Mom?

It is not just a bad sales day that can put me in a funk. One of my kids bringing home an uncharacteristically bad grade on an assignment can do it. A sharp comment from my husband on the cleanliness of our home (or more accurately, the lack of cleanliness) can definitely do it. Even a glance at my impossible schedule can do it. When things don’t go my way I tend to panic and start questioning if God really knows what He is doing.

Thankfully, He never lets me go very far with these foolish thoughts before reminding me that He is in control for a reason. It does no good for me to panic because these issues are out of my hands. God calls us to do two things: To love Him with all of our hearts, souls and minds; and to love others as we love ourselves. This means all of the “stuff” like book sales, grades, housekeeping, and the other demands of earthly life are not our priorities. If they truly need to be attended to, He will make it happen.

How grateful I am to serve a God who loves me in spite of my shortcomings, who takes care of the details of my life even when I fight Him for control, and who is patient enough to bless me in spite of my complaints. How is God caring for you this week? I recently heard someone say that if you can’t find anything to be thankful for, thank God for something you haven’t been cursed with! Lets us know what you thank Him for this week.

Ups and Downs

2009-01-08T22:50:00.002-07:00

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Welcome to my newly redesigned blog! I thought the New Year was a good time to unveil a new look – especially one with a color scheme that is a bit similar to that of my new web site. I hope you will check it out at http://www.motheringlikethefather.com. I got the web site up in time to correspond with the release of my new book, Mothering Like The Father: Following God’s Example In Parenting Young Children. You can find the book on the website, at amazon.com, or at barnesandnoble.com. Clearly, 2008 ended on a high note for me.

However, we all know that what goes up must come down. I won’t get any information on my online sales for a few months, but I had been looking forward to my first speaking engagement of 2009 to sell my first copy of the new book by hand. Today was the big day, and I sold…drum roll please…none.

Now I am in a disappointed funk, questioning not only my place in this crazy world of publishing, but my very calling to spread the message God has given me through the written word. I am feeling quite inadequate. However, I recently read something that reminded me to turn disappointment into an appointment to trust God’s plan. Even though my heart hurts, my brain knows that He is in control and will bring something good from this. I will keep you posted on what that turns out to be.

I get a chance to try again next Wednesday when I have another speaking engagement, so please pray for me to have a better experience then.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and I pray that you and your family will be blessed in the new year.

Christmas Is For Moms

2008-12-18T21:21:00.001-07:00

"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." – John 16:21

People always say that Christmas is for children. In many ways I agree with that. The sparkling lights, shiny decorations and stylish wrapping capture a child’s imagination in a way that few other experiences can. However, when you strip way the glitter and get down to the nitty gritty, I think Christmas is for moms.

A mom can understand the need to protect and support her husband, even if it means riding for days on a donkey while nine months pregnant. A mom can make any place feel like home for her child, even in a stable. Some translations of the Bible say that Jesus was wrapped in swaddling cloths. Did Mary pack in anticipation of having her baby while on the road? The term swaddling implies that the cloths were meant for a baby.

Beyond the physical scene painted in Bethlehem, a mother can relate, in many ways, to Mary’s emotions as well. Every mother knows her child will be magnificent, even if an angel doesn’t come to tell her so. We all feel compelled to provide the best we can for our children, whether it comes in the form of accepting gifts from three strangers or working crazy hours to make sure there is food in his tummy and a onesie on his back. We go to great lengths to protect our little treasures, whether that means fleeing from an unstable king, or a pushy mother-in-law.

In the eyes of our babies, we see the future of the world. And while we don’t enter into motherhood knowing what role our child will play the way Mary did, the anticipation of what lies ahead keeps us hopeful from one Christmas to the next.

I pray that you, and your entire family, have a very blessed Christmas.

In honor of the holiday, I will take a break from blogging until the new year. I look forward to talking with you in 2009!

Faith in Those Around Us

2008-12-10T21:17:00.001-07:00

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be Noah’s wife? She didn’t receive a message from God, yet her life was turned upside down by her husband’s mission to build the ark. She directly felt the impact of the long hours Noah spent building the ship. She got by with less when her husband used their resources for his project. She faced the ridicule of their friends and neighbors who didn’t understand why someone would build an enormous boat miles from any body of water. The Bible never tells us that God gave Noah’s wife any first-hand information. She had no choice but to trust her husband.

How do we respond to the calling of those around us? Had I been Noah’s wife, he would have endured a peppering of endless questions. God told you to do what? Are you sure it was God? How do you know? Are you sure this is what He told you? How do you know? Are you sure you are supposed to do this right now? How do you know?

My church is facing a situation where the elders have each received the same message from God (all nine of them), and the rest of the congregation is asking the questions. This is a dilemma we come across often in life. At what point do we trust another person to have accurately heard, interpreted, and understood a message from God, and when do we question? When God speaks to someone close to us, but leaves us in the dark, how do we respond?

I foresee having a hard time with this when my children get older and start telling me about their own callings. Will I trust that they have listened well to God and keep my hands to myself and my mouth shut as He uses them?

When God’s plans are directed at those around us and we struggle with knowing how to respond, the only thing we really can do is to pray. We can ask God to help us know how to react, how to participate, or to understand if any action is even necessary. When praying about our church situation earlier this week, God told me to hold the course. “You are right where I want you,” He said. “This is not a time I want you getting involved or rocking the boat.” Sometimes we have to be content in simply doing nothing more than having the faith to trust someone else.

Who is God calling you to trust today? What can you do to teach your children how to discern between trustworthy people and those who aren’t honest?

Heart Giving

2008-11-20T15:25:00.001-07:00

Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. – Deuteronomy 15:10

Yesterday, I took Alyssa, my five-year-old, to visit my grandmother in a senior rehabilitation center. While we were there, a nurse came into my grandmother’s room and announced it was time for lunch. We decided to continue our visit in the cafeteria.

As soon as we came to the door of the dining room, Alyssa put on the brakes. A room full of elderly, wheelchair-bound strangers was just more than she could face. At my urging, she reluctantly entered the room, clinging to my leg.

Of course, the residents were entranced by the presence of a five-year-old in their midst. They all started whispering, “Oh look—a little girl!” “Isn’t she sweet?” “Isn’t her dress cute?” “Look at that hair!” They wanted her to come closer so they could get a good look and give her little pats on the head.

She was clearly terrified, but she politely greeted everyone who spoke to her and answered all of their questions with great poise and impeccable manners. The faces of the residents lit up as they sat starring at her, transfixed by her little voice. Her presence and her demeanor were gifts to the people struggling to recover from physical injuries. She was scared to be there and really had to work hard to give of herself to the residents, and this made her effort a true gift.

Her selflessness got me thinking about the way I give. I usually pick up simple material gifts that fit my budget and can be purchased at stores that are convenient for me and have hours that fit my schedule. What if, instead, I made an effort to give more of myself—more of my heart and more of my time? What if I gave sacrificially as Jesus taught us. What difference could I make in the lives of those around me?

This Thanksgiving, who can you bless with a gift from your heart?

In recognition of Thanksgiving, I will not post next week. Have a wonderful holiday!

Struggling To Reach The Goal

2008-11-13T09:37:00.003-07:00

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:6

During the month of November, my writer’s group is having a challenge. Each member set goals at the beginning of the month, and we have thirty days to accomplish them.

I put serious thought into my goals. I wanted to set reasonable expectations while still stretching myself in meaningful ways.

Now, here we are, nearly halfway through the month, and I have made hardly a dent in accomplishing my objectives. My lack of forward momentum is frustrating, and as I cross off each day on the calendar, I feel the weight of a looming deadline pressing harder.

I am sure you’ve had a similar experience. In fact, our kids have them as well. One of my daughters is in the process of challenging herself to be more independent. We have always joked that her motto is, “Why do for yourself what others will do for you?” That is changing as we now hear, “Let me try it myself,” with increasing frequency (along with all of the tears that accompany her less successful efforts).

My other daughter is putting her energy into slowing down and doing nice, neat schoolwork. She is learning that often the correct answer is not enough, especially if the teacher can’t read it. She gets frustrated when her grades reflect her penmanship rather than her knowledge.

When I struggle with meeting my goals, it helps to have someone encourage me while also holding me accountable. We can be this “someone” for our children by cheering for each little step of progress they make and by not letting them give up when things get tricky, or when the thought of a different goal catches their fancy. For example, my messy writer knows that when she goes a whole week without needing to redo any of her homework, she will get a special outing with Mom.

Changing ourselves takes a great deal of self-discipline, but if we don’t take the challenge, we can’t grow. God tells us that He will see our work through to completion, but often that means we need to be open to learning new skills and developing in ways that allow Him to finish that work in us.

How is He stretching you today?

Book Meme

2008-11-06T15:03:00.005-07:00

My friend Danica tagged me on her blog for a meme about reading. To check out the details, visit her blog at http://www.danicafavorite.blogspot.com/.

So, here are seven things about the way I read...

1) I love a good mystery, especially crime novels.

2) Usually romance novels don't do it for me, but every now and then I find one I really like.

3) I am not a fan of profanity in books or movies. I generally figure authors make inappropriate word choices because they are not clever enough to come up with something better.

4) Because I typically only read for a few minutes before falling asleep at night, it takes me a LONG time to read a book.

5) Too often I find that the most critically acclaimed books are the ones in which I am most dissapointed.

6) I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be the father in the movie "Sabrina," who quit his job and became a chauffeur so he would have more time to read.

7) I like to have books around me, so I keep most of the ones I read. I should probably use the library more often, but item number 4 tells you why that doesn't work out too well for me.

Book Fair Economics

2008-11-06T14:48:00.002-07:00

So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? - Luke 16:11

Are you glad the election is over? I sure am. I am thrilled to answer the phone and have a friend at the end of the line, rather than an automated drone telling me how to vote. Who ever thought toilet paper commercials would be a refreshing break from all of the political ads?

Interestingly, election season intersected with the annual book fair at my kids’ school. I think the constant chatter about the economy had me at a heightened state of alert when my kids asked for book fair money. Talk of recessions and bankruptcy rates had me looking for opportunities to teach my little spenders about money management. I told them I would supply five dollars for each of them, and if they wanted more, it would need to come from their own piggy banks.

Since they are kids, they immediately opened their banks, then began digging around for any spare change they could find. The first day of the fair, my oldest daughter came home reporting that she borrowed three dollars from a friend, therefore she had to do a little more searching in order to scrounge up the needed cash for a timely repayment.

I always enjoy the book fair because it offers such a great opportunity for kids to figure out the details of purchasing all on their own. The people working the fair are moms from the school, and they wait patiently while kids count out 100 pennies, or ask for the fifteenth time how much money to set aside for sales tax. I send my kids in with money, but don’t go with them to make their purchases. I figure these opportunities to explore their financial independence are few and far between for five and seven year olds, so I’d better make the most of them.

I also enjoy watching my kids contemplate over their decisions, wondering if they should have purchased something else instead, then reveling in enjoyment and pride over their choices. This year, five-year-old Alyssa painstakingly debated between a book called Pinkalicious and a stuffed lion. Limey the limeade-loving lion won out. Seven-year-old Lauren put a puppy-shaped pencil sharpener on hold, but forgot to ask when she needed to be back with the money. By the time she remembered to bring in the cash, the holding period had ended and the puppy had gone to another buyer. She bought two animal-shaped erasers instead.

Watching my kids learn lessons about borrowing, lay-away and making good choices is a delightful process.

My hope is that these early experiences with money management will lay a foundational understanding of how to be responsible consumers. Then, prayerfully, they may successfully weather life’s financial storms in a way that keeps them strong in times such as these.

What experiences have you found to help teach kids about money management?

Misadventures and Miracles

2008-10-30T09:50:00.002-06:00

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. – Isaiah 46:4

When something goes wrong in the medical world, doctors call it a “medical misadventure.” Tuesdays seem to be my family’s day for misadventures this month, and Wednesdays are our miracle days. This week is no different.

You may recall that last Tuesday I got word that my grandmother was gravely ill, but on Wednesday, I was blessed with the news that she made a turn for the better. She is still holding her own this week and I am going to Arkansas to see her next month.

This Tuesday, my phone rang at 10:00 at night. Phone calls at 10:00 p.m. rarely bring good news, and this one was no exception. My parents were in a horrible car accident. They were passengers in a friend’s car on I-25, the main highway through Denver, when a man driving at a speed the police estimate to be 110 miles per hour crashed into them. The impact sent the car that my parents were in spinning in circles across the highway until they hit a retaining wall on the side of the road and the airbags deployed. The other car flipped onto its side, and from this precarious position, the driver actually managed to open the exposed door and climb through, and ran off down the interstate on foot.

My parents were taken by ambulance to Denver General Medical Center, which is the state’s primary hospital for both the most severe traumas and people who don’t have insurance coverage. This combination makes for an emergency room very much like what you see on the television show “ER” when there is a citywide crisis, except that this emergency room is about four times bigger than the one on TV, and I got the impression it is always crowded and crazy.

When I got there, a security guard walked me into the building and to a reception area. The guard took my purse and handed it to a person working the main desk to be searched. This wasn’t the kind of search you get at a football game where the attendant sort of peeks in to make sure there is nothing big or obvious poking out. I am pretty sure this guy trained with the Transportation Safety Administration, because he really searched. I was beginning to wonder if I would be swabbed for explosives as he asked if I had any knives, pepper spray, or other weapons. He finally surrendered my purse and issued me a visitor’s pass that I was to keep with me at all times. Then another security guard escorted me to my parents. We left the over-stuffed waiting room and made our way through a maze of hallways where patients on gurneys were actually being treated in the halls because there were no more “curtains” available. One man was sitting up in a regular hospital bed in the hallway. I was relieved to find both of my parents resting behind the same “curtain.”

To make a five-hour story short, things didn’t look too good when I arrived at the hospital. My parents and their friends were involved in what very easily could have been a fatal accident. God was clearly holding them in his hands, because once the blood was washed away, the X-rays and CAT scans taken, the neck braces removed, and blood tests performed, my parents were discharged. My father left the hospital with no medical treatment of any kind. My mother had a large cut on her forehead, but the doctor who stitched it up said he expected of a full recovery. My parent’s friends were taken to a different hospital where the husband received four staples to a cut in the back of his head. His wife suffered the most serious injury—a cracked sternum. There is no treatment for this, so on Wednesday morning, all four of them miraculously went home to sleep in their own beds and work through the bruises, black eyes, swelling, aches and pains to come. Once again, Tuesday’s misadventure ended in Wednesday’s miracle.

It has not escaped my attention that God is probably trying to teach us something through these events, and He likely has a different lesson for each of us. For me, I think it has to do with not just understanding that He is in control of my life, but actively living in a way that acknowledges this fact. Proverbs 19:21 tells us, “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

My plans for the day suddenly seemed insignificant after spending the night in the emergency room. I had no problem bowing out of different responsibilities last week when I thought I would make an emergency trip to Arkansas. Seeing how insignificant my plans truly are gives me a new perspective on the time I dedicate to God. Activities that once seemed so important can now wait until I have prayed about what God wants from me during the day.

Perhaps I can teach my children this lesson before they have day timers and schedules. I think there is an element of pride in having a busy day, and business outside of God’s will is just a waste of effort and energy. If I can instill this truth in my kids before they get sucked into “planner prison,” it could be a blessing to them. If you have any thoughts or suggestions on how to do this, please share them.

I am thankful that I am now busy praising God for protecting my parents and for holding them during this accident. Please join me in praying for their speedy recoveries.

False Alarm

2008-10-23T08:07:00.001-06:00

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

On Tuesday, my mom gave me the news that my 90-year-old grandmother had fallen and cracked her pelvis. “They got a hospital bed for the house because she won’t be able to get up and move around,” my mom explained, “but it sounds like things are going okay.”

But later that night, I called my aunt who lives with and cares for my grandmother. I got a much more complete, and grim, picture of the situation from her. The report sent me packing for a trip to Arkansas. With a single phone call, I found that my life for the next six days would be different from what my daily planner outlined.

After gagging over the high price of last-minute airline tickets, my dad and I decided to make the fifteen-hour drive from Colorado to northern Arkansas. I alerted the people I had commitments to that I would be unable to uphold my end of the deal because I was heading out of town. I threw in loads of laundry and started making preparations to help things go smoothly for my family in my absence. Most of all, however, I prayed. I asked for comfort and protection for my grandmother, and that she would live long enough for me to see her one last time. I prayed for peace for my aunt, because I cannot begin to imagine the stress of providing full-time care for someone in my grandmother’s condition. I prayed that my dad and I would have a safe trip and not arrive too stiff to bend over and hug my grandmother.

When I spoke with my aunt the next day, my life changed again with one phone call. “I don’t know who I am looking at,” my aunt exclaimed. “Mom is suddenly doing great!” She was sitting up, feeding herself, even singing. And since so much family had already arrived in Arkansas, we decided to hold off on our trip for a few weeks. I hadn’t realized that I had been holding my breath for the past twelve hours until I finally let it out. My muscles tingled with release as I moved from physical action mode to mental processing mode in the span of three seconds.

This experience gave me a good reminder, yet again, of how quickly life can change. Our expectations for a day, or a week, or longer, can shift with the ring of the phone. The people around us can too. Those closest to us are like fine china—precious and fragile, and designed to be appreciated. There are a surprising number of “to do” items in my planner that are easy to skip over when something, or someone, more important needs attention. And if I really think about it, there is always someone more important who should get my attention, rather than the unnecessary distractions of modern life.

Who are you going to focus on today?

Unexpected Journey

2008-10-22T06:54:00.002-06:00

Hello, faithful readers. I am sorry I have been a bad blogger for the past week. Life ran away from me last week and I never made the time to sit down and post. Today I am heading for Arkansas to see my grandmother who fell and cracked her pelvis. Unfortunately, she is not doing well, so my kids, my dad and I are packing into the car and making the 15-hour trek to see her. Please keep my grandmother's health and our safe travels in your prayers. I will be back next week with a regular post.

Thank you and blessings on you and your families,

Dianne

Out In The Cold

2008-10-10T13:55:00.002-06:00

Then God said, "I've given you every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth And every kind of fruit-bearing tree, given them to you for food. To all animals and all birds, everything that moves and breathes, I give whatever grows out of the ground for food.” And there it was. - Genesis 1:29-30

You’ve no doubt heard the news this week that pharmaceutical companies are now acknowledging what pediatricians have said for years—cold medicines don’t work in young kids. The unnerving part is that they are also admitting that some remedies may even be harmful.

Reports seem to differ, but the information I most consistently find warns not about individual medicines given at recommended doses, but rather the risk of accidental overdose when giving different medicines that contain the same ingredients.

The other area where I find different recommendations is on the age at which children need alternative therapies. Most of the reports say to avoid over the counter cold medicines for kids ages four and under, but some suggest protecting kids under the age of six.

If you have identified a cold remedy that actually works for your child and she tolerates it well, I’d stock up now because it probably won’t be on the shelf for long. The stores in my area dropped most children’s cold products, with the exception of a few syrups, last year when pediatricians publicly spoke out against these treatments.

So without over the counter medicines, what can we moms do to comfort our littlest patients? I have had luck soothing sore throats and coughing with popsicles (avoid the cream-style type if your child has a lot of phlegm or mucus). Citrus flavors seem to cut through that yucky cottonmouth sensation the best. Try for varieties made from natural juices without added sugar.

Diluted or weak tea also feels good on sore throats. When I make my pot of tea in the morning, I pour a little in the mug of whoever is sick and fill the rest with cool water. This brings it down to a drinkable temperature and also cuts the caffeine to a kid-friendly level.

Grandmas, doctors, and patients everywhere agree that chicken soup truly is one of the best treatments for a cold. There is actual scientific proof to support this as well.

If your child is old enough not to choke on it, a natural, non-medicated throat lozenge can help control a cough.

When noses start running, a little Vaseline rubbed into the skin just inside each nostril can help prevent (or soothe) irritating chapping. When my kids were babies I used Little Noses brand non-medicated gel for this, but now they prefer old-fashioned Vaseline.

Tummies full of drainage are settled by toast and ginger ale or 7-Up. I try to avoid Sprite because it is a little on the sweet side and can further upset an unhappy tummy.

As in most things, I find our faithful God provides the main things we need to stay healthy and recover when we do get a cold. Our bodies use whole, unprocessed foods better than any other kind. If it looks like something Adam and Eve would have found in the garden (like an apple or a stalk of broccoli) than it probably is good at helping your body stay healthy. If it looks like a box (say of cake mix) then you are better off leaving it on the grocery store shelf this cold season. If it comes in a package and you recognize all of the ingredients as real foods, then enjoy it. If you have to sound out anything on the label, don’t add it to your cart. I really don’t even like foods with added vitamins—real, whole foods already have naturally occurring vitamins so I don’t want synthetic ones added in.

You undoubtedly have some home remedies of your own for fighting cold symptoms. Share what works for your kids. Here’s to staying healthy!

Getting Un-Stuck In The Moment

2008-10-02T13:48:00.001-06:00

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34

My poor husband is stuck. He recently spent three days rebuilding our snow blower, and now he can’t wait for the white stuff to start falling so he can test his handiwork. Every time the weather report comes on the television news he asks, “Any snow in the forecast?” He is so stuck in his longing for snow that he is missing one of the most beautiful autumns we’ve had in years.

However, I realized this week that he is not the only one in our family struggling with this issue. I have been so busy working with the publisher on the final stages of my book that I have been missing the reasons I started writing in the first place. The time I used to spend praising and worshiping God through the written word, and hearing His guidance and direction in the process, has been replaced by a preoccupation with sales projections and marketing plans. I’ve gotten myself stuck in the business of publishing and have been missing the gift of writing.

We all go through phases like this, especially with our kids. How many of us wished away days of early childhood waiting for something more exciting? We look forward to our child’s first step, first word, first day of school, first time we can leave him home alone, first time she drives herself to soccer practice. Before we know it, our kids are heading off for the first semester of college or first apartment. In between all of those firsts is the life we don’t want to miss.

I think tonight I am going to get my husband and kids to go on an after-dinner walk so we can enjoy the warm, golden autumn of the Colorado countryside. We won’t talk about snow, or publishing, or the concerns of tomorrow. We will just enjoy and appreciate the beauty of today.

What’s In A Name?

2008-09-25T14:56:00.003-06:00

I couldn’t find an applicable Bible verse for this topic, but I am pretty sure someone can. If a verse comes to mind that goes with this post, please share it!

Ever since my after-school job as a day-care worker at Little People's Learning Center, kids have called me Miss Dianne. The children of my friends called me Miss Dianne, so I allowed my daughters the same informality of calling close adults by their first names with Miss or Mr. tacked onto the front.

That all changed when my brother-in-law brought up an interesting point. He said, “I think part of the reason why there are so many people charged with crimes committed by a ‘person in a position of trust’ is that we allow kids and adults to get too close. When kids call adults by their last names, the line between who is the child and who is the adult is less likely to become blurred.”

I think he is exactly right. The simple act of kids calling an adult by his or her last name clarifies that the two aren’t buddies. Roles are more clearly defined: teacher and student, coach and player, mentor and mentee.

When I called adults by their last names as a kid, I thought it was a sign of respect. I didn’t feel disrespected when my friends’ kids called me Miss Dianne, but I failed to see that there is more to the issue than respect alone. There is something valuable to our culture when there are clear definitions, or boundaries, in interactions between the generations.

What do your kids call adults? What contributed to that decision for your family? Share your ideas on the subject.

You Want Me To Show You What?

2008-09-17T16:40:00.001-06:00

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven – Ecclesiastes 3:1

As usual, I am writing my blog post while watching my daughter’s weekly gymnastics class. The kids are all inside the gym while the moms wait in the hallway, watching through a wall of windows.

Here in the hall, it is impossible not to overhear the various conversations, and I am currently enjoying one between two moms whose daughters want them to demonstrate different acrobatic skills at home. Apparently, one mom used to actually try this for her child, but had to stop when she found out she was pregnant. The visual image I get of this mother cart wheeling across her living room to the applause of her awestruck five-year-old audience makes me smile.

The last time I tried to “demonstrate” a handstand, I pulled a muscle in my leg. While I am not what you would call a jock, I do consider myself to be in reasonable shape. I make a point of stretching thoroughly when I go to the gym, and I try to go hiking at least twice a month when the weather permits. So why can I not do a simple handstand without injuring (and embarrassing) myself?

I wonder if perhaps there are certain activities that are meant to be part of childhood (unless you happen to be that thirty-something-year-old mom who competed the Olympics for the German gymnastics team — but she doesn’t count). Maybe losing particular abilities keeps us from getting too cocky about our physical condition.

Or maybe kids feel empowered when they can finally do something their parents can’t. I think this might be the reason God allows us the foolish notion of even trying handstands in our mid-thirties – so we are forced to demonstrate our inabilities and shortcomings for our kids. It is so easy to go through each day seemingly in charge and having all of the answers for our children. It does both generations a bit of good to turn the tables and let the kiddos be the capable ones. When we let them teach us, it builds their confidence even more.

Sure, I may be able to drive the car and work the barbeque grill, but my daughter can do a straddle roll. To her, that is like gold.

Dress Code For Life

2008-09-11T10:24:00.002-06:00

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. – Romans 12:1

It is an issue that has kids groaning and parents singing for joy—school uniforms. The charter school my children attend requires its students to wear uniforms. The kids can only wear navy blue pants or shorts, and skirts and jumpers are only available in a blue and green plaid (which I personally find adorable). However, there are a number of shirts styles and colors available, as well as a sweatshirt, sweater, and sweater vest.

In addition to the uniform, the school enforces a fairly stringent dress code. Tops tuck into bottoms, hair stays neat and out of the eyes, and pants rest around the waist with the help of leather belts. Everything works together to give the students a neat, clean appearance.

I love the uniform and dress code because it makes mornings easy. There is no debate over what to wear or what is appropriate. As my kids get older, I will be free from the pressure to buy brand names, and we won’t battle over clothing that is too tight, too short, or too revealing because it is simply not allowed at school.

Recently, however, a conversation with a parent from the school made me realize another potential benefit of the uniform. “My hope,” she said, “is that by growing up in modest, neat clothing, my kids will become most comfortable when they dress that way. I hope this is how they will want to look when they move on from this school.”

She has a great point, and I see it happening already. My kids have play clothes for after school and on the weekends, but they like to stay in their uniforms. And when they do put on play clothes, the shirts get tucked in as a matter of habit.

Another thing to consider is how much easier it is to continue a good habit than to break a bad one. Toddlers are cute when they wear their ballet attire to the grocery store, but thirteen-year-olds don’t look so adorable when they go out in leotard-tight tops. This means I need to remember to bring a dress to pull over my daughter’s gymnastics outfit when we stop by the store after class so we get a good habit established now. Likewise, I smile when I see a little guy’s diaper sticking out of the top of his pants, but I feel sad for the teenage boys who wear their pants low to intentionally show off their boxer shorts. Teaching my kids about privacy now may help them avoid this “fashion trend” later. Let’s face it, establishing healthy guidelines for modesty is easier when kids are young. By the time they are teenagers, the battle in this arena is pretty much over.

Plus, growing up properly dressed is important in building self esteem and developing a strong, positive self image.

Every week I see a little boy, around age three, who wears his hair in a Mohawk. Sometimes it is green, others pink, but it is always colored. He typically looks nervous, as though he knows people are wondering why his hair is so unusual. He is growing up feeling out of place—like an oddball. And since he is so young, this decision clearly falls to his parents.

Thankfully, our world offers so many positive ways to express our individuality and creativity that we don’t need to resort to harmful or uncomfortable ways of exerting our uniqueness. Our kids don’t either. Opportunities abound to stand above the crowd in sports, music, art, writing, and serving others. The eight-year-old daughter of a friend of mine raced in a triathlon. Several elementary school students I know had their art displayed in a local museum. My nieces and nephew perform in full-length, professional quality plays at their church. One teenager actually writes plays for the dinner theater in his community. Help your kids find ways to excel and feel great about themselves, and encourage them to steer clear of behaviors that bring negative attention.

If I want the Holy Spirit to dwell happily in me, I need to provide a comfortable place for it. That means having a body I am comfortable living in—not one that attracts attention in ways that make me uneasy or self-conscious. The same applies to my kids. By teaching them today how to monitor their outer appearance, I hope to be building their inner confidence for tomorrow.

What “dress code” issue does your family face? Share your ideas or tips for encouraging individuality in positive ways.

Little Laborers

2008-09-04T10:36:00.002-06:00

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men… Colossians 3:23

The observance of Labor Day this week got me thinking about work—specifically kid work. The type and amount of work kids do around the house, as well as their compensation for it, are hot topics with moms. In fact, when I speak to moms groups, I get more questions about allowance than any other topic. And I don’t even give a formal talk on the subject!

I think chores are a grey area in parenting because we all have different opinions on what jobs are appropriate at what age. For instance, I have a friend whose seven-year-old is responsible for vacuuming out their car. That works for their family, but because I know how much trouble I have maneuvering that fat hose into all of the tiny nooks of my SUV, I don’t ask my seven-year-old to do it.

Another cause for the variation in chores is the fact that each child has different abilities. My five-year-old, for example, has a very short attention span. Trying to get her to clean her entire room in one sitting is an exercise in futility. However, her ability to focus lasts about the same amount of time as is required to clean a bathroom sink, making that the perfect job for her.

There is nothing that says your kids have to do certain chores at specific ages. There is also nothing that requires them to do the same jobs your neighbor’s kids do. You, as their mother, know what they can handle.

The next area of concern is how to pay kids for their work, if you pay them at all. I hear a lot of “experts” saying that kids should just work because they are part of the family and each member needs to contribute. I agree with that to a point. However, the benefits of an allowance are just too great to ignore.

In my family (recognize that I am not saying this is how you should do it), the kids have specific tasks they do in order to receive an allowance. They also help in additional ways because they are contributing members of our family. Both of my kids earn $2.50 per week if they do all of their allowance jobs every day. Allowance jobs include things like putting their shoes away, keeping their rooms tidy (at a level reasonable for their ages), making sure the dog has food and water, and cleaning their bathroom sink. If they do all of their jobs, they get all of their money. If they miss something, they miss their allowance until the following week.

Additionally, I will periodically say, “Okay kids, I’m doing the bag tonight!” This means they need to get all of their odds and ends picked up from around the main living area of the house before going to bed. Anything left out after bedtime goes into “The Bag” and they must buy each item back for $.25 at the end of the week. I pay my kids their allowance in quarters so they can buy back the socks that are left under the dining room table and the movie boxes that sit next to the DVD player. Everything must be purchased and then put away or added to the Goodwill pile. If someone needs something before the end of the week (like the time my daughter left her gymnastics leotard sitting out) it may be purchased early for $.50. Deciding to leave something in the bag rather than buying it back is not a choice.

This system works great for us because it really motivates to kids to keep things picked up and it helps add value to their allowance.

In addition to their allowance jobs, the kids also help clear the table after meals, help sort laundry, dust furniture, or do whatever else I ask them to help with. They are generally happy to help because they enjoy being part of family activity and my husband and I strive to show them work in a positive light. We never use added chores, or yucky ones, as punishment.

Even though it gets tiring and mundane, I consider the ability to do work to be a blessing. I am fortunate to be physically able to take care of my home, and I hope my children will grow to see it positively as well. And while no one likes cleaning toilets or taking out the trash, the house sure feels nice once it is done.

Tell us how you make job-sharing and allowance work in your family.

Fighting For A Taste of Summer

2008-08-28T08:08:00.004-06:00

He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy. – Acts 14:17

For the past few years, I have lived the ups and downs of an amateur vegetable gardener. The first year, my plot grew such an abundance of gargantuan vegetables that I delivered bags of my wares to the local food bank because I had already overloaded my friends, family, and passing strangers with more produce than they could use. I felt like King Midas of the gardening world—everything I touched turned into zucchini.

The second year, cooler weather kept things smaller and slower growing, but I still ended up with a decent crop and tried my hand at freezing and canning my extras so we could enjoy the fruits of my labor into the winter.

This year, however, has been a disaster. King Midas is long gone and he took with him my hopes of filling my freezer in order to cut my grocery bill. Early in the season, some unknown critter managed to get through my eight-foot high, deer-proof fence, and helped itself to a salad bar made up of two entire broccoli plants, two entire artichoke plants, one entire eggplant plant, and all of the leaves off of my grape vine. When I say entire, I mean every scrap right down to the ground.

A few weeks after this invasion, I was cursed with a grasshopper plague of Biblical proportions. People would actually come for a visit at my house and say, “Where did you get all of these grasshoppers?” These pests devoured the corn, bean, cabbage, cucumber, raspberry and blueberry plants. In desperation, I abandoned my efforts at organic gardening and bought some grasshopper killer. It worked.

Interestingly, grasshoppers aren’t attracted to tomatoes, but apparently hail is. A mid-August storm battered my still-green beauties.

The bright spot in all of this destruction and disappointment (not to mention financial loss) came one day when I noticed two lovely, unscathed zucchinis growing amidst the weeds I’d given up pulling. This meant I had the key ingredient for my favorite summer-time treat—chocolate zucchini cake.

If you are growing zucchini this year or want to pick some up from the grocery store, give this recipe a try. It is sure to be a family favorite and, if your kids are like mine, may be the only way they will each zucchini.

Chocolate Zucchini Cake

½ cup butter
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1/3 cup oil
½ cup evaporated milk + ½ tsp. lemon juice
½ tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
2 ¾ cup flour (I use gluten free flour and it works just fine)
¼ tsp. cinnamon
5 Tbsp. cocoa
1 ½ cup sugar (I use about half this amount of turbinado sugar)
2 cups shredded zucchini

Cream butter, oil and sugar together with mixer. Add eggs and vanilla. Sift all dry ingredients and add alternately with zucchini and sour milk. Pour into greased and floured 9x13 pan. Sprinkle on topping made by combining:

½ cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1/3 cup brown sugar
½ cup chocolate chips

Bake at 325 degrees for 45-50 minutes.

Enjoy the cake and say a little prayer for next year’s garden while you eat!

ADDITIONAL NOTE:
Jake is the great nephew of my friend, Jan Parrish. He is only three years old and is having transplant surgery today. His mother, Heather, is donating one of her kidneys. Please pray for Jake, Heather and the entire family. To see a slide show of Jake or get updates on his progress, please go to janparrish.blogspot.com. Thank you for your prayers!

Let’s Talk Sunscreen

2008-08-21T07:45:00.003-06:00

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. – Psalm 5:11

Late August may seem like a funny time to mention sunscreen, but I know that after months of enjoying the pool and the park, many of us are running low on the white stuff and need to restock. We easily have six more weeks of bright sun (and those of us in Colorado pretty much have it all year).

I had often wondered what all those chemicals listed on the sunscreen bottle really were, and what effect they might have on our bodies (or more accurately, on my children’s bodies). It turns out that many sunscreens are toxic once absorbed by the skin. Many even contain hidden estrogen.

Last year I found a list that rates different sunscreens not only by how well they protect from sun damage, but also how toxic they are once absorbed.

Here are the top five best sunscreens according to the Environmental Working Group, which studied 786 name-brand sunscreens:

1. California Baby Sunblock Stick No Fragrance, SPF 30+
2. California Baby Sunblock Stick Everyday/Year Round, SPF 30+
3. Trukid Sunny Days Facestick Mineral Sunscreen UVA/UVB Broad Spectrum, SPF 30+
4. Badger Sunscreen, SPF 30+
5. Vanicream Sunscreen For Sensitive Skin, SPF 60

These better-for-you brands provide the highest level of protection with the least toxicity. However, they can be tricky to find and even harder to pay for. Vitamin Cottage carries California Baby products, which I use, although the location near me only has a sunscreen lotion (number seven on the list). If you decide to try this brand, realize that a little goes a very long way, and getting too much will leave you with a very white, zinc-covered kid.

The names that seem to pop up most frequently on the list of the worst sunscreens are Walgreens and Coppertone. L’oreal, Elizabeth Arden and Nivea also find places near the bottom of the list. To find out how your sunscreen ranks, go to the Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety Database at cosmeticdatabase.com/browse.php?sunscreens to get the list.

And don’t forget, we all need twenty minutes of sun exposure every day without sunscreen so we get enough vitamin D from the sun. I don’t put sunscreen on my kids when they go to school so recess takes care of their twenty minutes.

Enjoy the warm weather while it lasts—before we know it we will be talking about putting sunscreen in our ski packs!

God Is Good – Even To Kindergarteners

2008-08-14T08:49:00.001-06:00

NOTE: Now that I’m back on the school-year schedule, I am posting every week again. Also, I am now posting on Thursday mornings instead of Mondays. Thanks for reading!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. – 1 Chronicles 16:34

The calendar may say it is still summer, but life tells me the lazy days are over. My kids went back to school yesterday, officially ending summer in my mind.

My youngest started kindergarten. I could tell she was nervous because everything was a little off for her—her shorts were too loose; her hair wrap was too tight. The hook for her backpack in the classroom was too high; her nametag wouldn’t stick on right.

But then the clouds parted and a ray of sunshine brightened her day. She found her name printed on a colorful laminated tag stuck to the desk right next to her best friend in the class. I could see the feeling of comfort and relief spread over her face as she settled in next to a trusted partner.

God is good and He is faithful. He knows everything about us—even how to calm our first day jitters. And more often than not, He gives us a friend for the journey so we don’t have to battle our anxieties alone. There is nothing in our lives that is too small or insignificant for Him, nor are we ever too young to receive His grace.

How has God been good to you this week?

The Reward For Time Well Spent

2008-07-28T18:18:00.000-06:00

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. – Psalm 127:3

My project this week is staining my back deck. I worked on it all day Saturday and didn’t even finish the railing.

Granted, it is a very large deck, but what took so much time was slowly and carefully painting around each metal spindle, then wiping off the redwood stain that mistakenly ended up on the black poles. The tedious work required a steady hand, a keen eye, a strong dose of patience and attention to detail. Kind of like mothering.

When I get sloppy as a mom, I notice my kids don’t shine in their usual ways. When I get lazy, I let sassy talk slide, I give undue life to negative attitudes, and I leave my kids to figure things out for themselves when I really should give them guidance instead.

But when I am purposeful and intentional in the way I raise my children, they behave better, are more obedient, and frankly more fun to be around. I enjoy being a mom more when I take the time to do a good job with it, just like I know my family will enjoy our deck once I’ve finished taking my time with it.

In what ways do you notice your behavior affecting your kids?

Making It On Her Own

2008-07-21T17:24:00.002-06:00

I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds. – 2 Corinthians 7:4

This morning I dropped Lauren off at her first day of Girl Scout Camp. She didn’t know any of the other girls there, and I could tell she was nervous because my little talker was suddenly very quiet. Despite her nerves, however, she confidently found a spot to sit and got busy working on a craft. As I walked away, I knew she would be fine.

On the journey from birth to adulthood, kids develop and practice their independence in different ways and in a variety of settings. Some of these are scary for us moms, but some feel like the right step toward greater maturity and responsibility for our children.

The risky ones get a lot of attention. We fret and worry and confide in our girlfriends when our children take steps that make us uncomfortable. The easy ones, however, seem to get lost in the shuffle of daily life. We don't always recognize that feeling comfortable when letting go of our children is a true mark of development as a mom.

I challenge you to celebrate your own growth as a mom the next time you find peace in your child’s budding independence. It is a big deal for both of you! Congratulations!

If your child has found a new level of self sufficiency this summer, share your story with us.

Glad This Isn’t Renaissance England

2008-07-07T13:50:00.001-06:00

I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High – Psalm 9:2

This 4th of July weekend, I had an unusual opportunity to gain a new appreciation for American life by comparing modern day festivities with those of historic England.

On Friday, July 4, my husband and I took our kids to a holiday celebration in the town where we live. We met up with some friends and the kids enjoyed bouncing in inflatables, playing games, and listening to live music while face painters and balloon twisters worked nearby. When it got dark, fireworks danced across the sky, choreographed to fit with the accompaniment of patriotic songs, including “God Bless America” and “God Bless the USA.”

Not only did we have a wonderful time, but I was filled with thanksgiving over having the opportunity to celebrate both my God and my country openly and publicly in a government-sponsored event at our Town Hall.

The following day, we went to the Colorado Renaissance Festival. The step back in time to the days of knights, nobility, and tournament jousting was enthralling. Alyssa was enchanted by the long, pretty dresses. Lauren liked the swords and the different games of skill.

And while we had just as much fun at the Festival as we did at the 4th of July celebration, I couldn’t help but notice the stark difference between the two lifestyles.

I am grateful that I don’t have a king trying to fight for God’s place in my life. While I don’t always agree with the way our government spends tax dollars, I am pleased the money isn’t used for jousting tournaments. I am thankful I can wear comfortable, sanitary clothes rather than dresses that skim the dirty ground all day. I am blessed to live comfortably without having to work a messy, backbreaking job just to scrape by. The life of a medieval washerwoman, for example, is a far cry from today’s dry cleaner.

Most of all, I am glad to live in a time and place I can be proud of. I am happy my children call this country home. Despite its issues and difficulties, I consider it a blessing to live in the United States of America.

Unlike the women of renaissance England, I can worship God whenever and however I want. I have the opportunity to change my circumstances through ingenuity and hard work without needing the permission of the president or anyone else. And best of all, I can gather with my family and friends in public to celebrate our good fortune.

God bless this country and the service men and women who fight to keep us free.

Is Your Brain Connected to Your Body?

2008-07-01T10:29:00.001-06:00

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

For the past two weeks, my oldest daughter, Lauren, has been participating in a gymnastics camp. She has never taken a true gymnastics class before, and I decided that she really needed to learn how to do a cartwheel before entering the third grade in August. Of course, her sister and I tried to teach her, but the fact that we can both do cartwheels can’t make up for our “mom” and “little sister” status. Surely, we don’t know what we are talking about. I decided to send her to a professional.

When I signed Lauren up for camp, I told the coach, “My only goal for this is to get her cartwheeling!” He assured me he would work with her, but as the days passed, I wasn’t seeing the progress I hoped for.

Yesterday, the coach pulled me aside and told me he’d figured out the problem. “She’s left-sided,” he said, “but she wants to be right-sided. Her brain and her body aren’t on the same page.”

This must be a genetic trait because my brain and body rarely work in sync. My head knows it is time to write, but my body won’t sit still in the chair. My heart knows I need to spend time in prayer, but my mind wanders off on its own agenda.

Thankfully, God understands this weakness, and when push comes to shove, He strengthens my mind and body so they can work together to accomplish His purposes as He sees fit. Do you think His purpose includes cartwheels?

Hopping Off the Merry-Go-Round

2008-06-16T16:28:00.002-06:00

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:4

This weekend, I had one of those rare mothering moments where I realized I was standing squarely in the light at the end of the tunnel. I made it all the way through, and it was beautiful.

Our town holds an annual festival with carnival rides, funnel cake booths, live bands and craft vendors. It is a big event that attracts not only the entire population of our town, but visitors from neighboring areas as well.

Ever since our kids were tiny, my husband and I have held them onto merry-go-round horses during these yearly festivities. We’ve jammed our long legs into the miniature Dragon Wagon and spun around in cars shaped like elephants so we could help them through their early experiences with “thrill” rides.

This year, for the first time ever, my husband and I bought no carnival tickets for ourselves. We happily stood on the sidelines, watching our kids spin. We laughed at the way our oldest throws her arms in the air with wild abandonment, while her little sister holds on for dear life—literally “white knuckling” every ride. We waved every time they rode past us, and smiled and cheered for their successful adventures.

As we enjoyed watching the action swirling around us, we realized we have reached a beautiful stage of parenting. Our kids still enjoy doing things as a family, but they don’t need our constant companionship. They are secure in trying things on their own, but still like the reassurance of having us close. They aren’t yet embarrassed to admit they have parents, but are confident enough to enjoy the ride with some independence.

I bet God feels the same kind of joy as we hit developmental milestones in our spiritual maturity. I’m sure He smiles when we grow to the point of knowing He’s always there, sharing and enjoying life with us, yet we’re strong enough in our faith and in the Word to venture out while avoiding trouble. He probably thinks, “Phew! We made it to the end of this particular tunnel, and now I finally get to share my light in this area of her life.”

For my fellow mothers who are still jamming their legs into choo-choo trains and bumper cars, I say to you, “Hang in there. It is a lovely ride that is well worth the wait.”

Doing Great Small Things

2008-06-09T08:07:00.001-06:00

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

When my first child was born, I quit my corporate job to pursue work as a full-time mom. I dreamed about how wonderful it would be to spend the day caring for my family and my home without the pressures of my office job looming over my head. Thoughts of afternoons in the park and play dates with other moms danced through my mind.

It was all perfectly lovely, until my husband and I went to one of his work functions and someone asked what I’d been up to lately. I faltered. Did she really want to know about my ongoing battle at mount laundry, or my pride and joy of the week—a new vacuum cleaner?

After spending so many years as the interesting woman with a story to tell, I suddenly realized what I became when I decided to stay home. Boring.

I recognized in that moment how my circle of influence shrunk exponentially when I left corporate America, and my impact on the world was now limited to my husband and my daughter. Yikes.

However, after giving myself about nine months to get into the routine of being a stay-at-home mom, I began reaching out of my own home. I joined a Bible study and a couple of mothering groups, and began connecting with my community in my own little ways. And over the years, my influence, as well as my friendships, has grown.

Yesterday, my pastor did a wonderful sermon on how God uses the little things we do to make a big impact for Him. He said the very word “ministry” comes from the Latin root for “small things,” as in miniscule.

Jesus gave us several examples of using small things for big purposes. In Luke 13:18-19, we read, “Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches.” From a tiny seed, about the size of a pinhead, comes a twelve-foot tree.

From our own tiny efforts in our own homes and communities, we can grow and encourage many believers. A friend of mine once said she was disappointed she didn’t have the opportunity to become a full-time missionary before having kids, until she realized she did have a mission field—right in her own home, to three little growing Christians.

You are more important and more valuable to God’s kingdom than you realize, mom. Enjoy your calling as a missionary to your own family and in your own community, and live it out in your own small, yet great, ways.

When Self-Control Goes On Summer Vacation

2008-06-02T07:34:00.003-06:00

So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. – 1 Thessalonians 5:6

Summer vacation is one of my favorite times of year. I love letting my kids stay up a little later than usual to watch a movie, then having them sleep longer in the morning. I appreciate the freedom from school uniform maintenance and sack lunch monotony. And while I am a person who thrives on routine, I enjoy the temporary lack of schedule summer offers.

The problem with this break from school-year life, however, is that I also seem to take a break from self-control. For example, last week I stayed in bed every morning until my kids got up. Since I am normally the first one up, this change meant I got very little writing done, and spent even less time reading my Bible. And while I managed to turn that temporary habit around and get up on time today, I stayed up so late last night that everything looks a little blurry this morning.

When school gets out, my brain seems to go somewhere with it. Last Tuesday I completely forgot to go to the Bible study meeting I have gone to every week for the past five years. How does someone forget a five-year habit?

Consistency with my kids seems to slip a little in the warmer months, too. Last night my youngest daughter didn’t eat dinner. I told her she did not need to eat if she wasn’t hungry, but that there would be no more food available until breakfast. My husband reminded me of this comment as we all sat at Dairy Queen and I wiped the chocolate dripping from my little one’s chin.

But perhaps that is part of the mystique of summer. Of course, we don’t want it to go too far, but maybe relaxing the standards a bit is part of what makes the long break special. More hours of daylight allow for more fun when we loosen up the reins and enjoy this season with our families.

I know myself well enough to know that if I make sleeping in a summer-time habit, then I will curse myself in the fall. That is an area where I can’t budge. However, I am pretty sure no one ever died from eating ice cream for dinner, so we will take another voyage to Dairy Queen next week. We will also have our share of late nights and blurry mornings, and enjoy every one of them. And not only will we have out-of-the-ordinary fun this summer, but we will happily look back on these memories when we need some mental refreshment to get through the school year ahead.

What changes does your family allow over the summer? If your kids are on a year-round school schedule, what does your summer look like?

Saying No

2008-05-26T08:10:00.001-06:00

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. – Galatians 5:25

Are you the type of person who can’t say no? Whatever anyone needs, you take care of it whether you really want to or not? When I was in college, we called people like that joiners. They joined in everything and kept mind boggling schedules. I knew the ins and outs of this personality type because I was their ringleader.

Once my first child was born, however, the need to be all things to all people faded in the light of being all things to one tiny person. While I was still very involved in volunteer activities, the ability to say no was born right along with my baby.

Early in my mothering, I read a book that suggested identifying your primary, big picture purpose in life. In those first years as a mom, it seemed like my purpose was simply producing milk and changing diapers. However, deep down in my heart, I knew that I was to minister to other mothers. Armed with this knowledge, the book suggested that I only accept invitations to help in areas that related to this purpose. Any other offer, no matter how good or worthwhile it may be, needed serious consideration and prayer before accepting it.

This system proved to be very effective. Other than helping with things at my children’s school, my volunteer time is committed to helping moms. So is my writing and speaking. However, I currently feel the turmoil of uncharted waters. Someone asked me to lead a summer Bible study for mothers, and I feel God telling me no.

“But this falls under the umbrella of my primary purpose,” I argued to God.

“I know,” He answered, “but this is not how I need to use you right now.”

“Are you changing my purpose?”

“No,” He assured me. “I plan to use you in a different way to fulfill your purpose.”

Apparently, I need to write to the author of that book and give her an update. While well-laid plans can carry us for a while, God directs our paths in the end. We don’t get to simply figure out our purpose then go forth on our own. He is still in charge of our missions, our ministries and our lives, and we need His guidance at every step.

Is God calling you in an unexpected way? Share your experience.

Just What We Need

2008-05-19T16:40:00.001-06:00

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

With summer right around the corner, our thoughts turn towards one of my favorite words: vacation! Yesterday someone asked if my family has any trips planned while the kids are out of school.

“We are going camping a couple of times,” I answered.

“That’s not really vacation,” came the response. “That’s just a different kind of work.”

I love the way God creates His children to view and appreciate the world in different ways at various stages of life. Ten years ago, I didn’t consider something a vacation unless it involved taking an airplane to a sandy beach where I could sit with an umbrella drink in my hand watching the ocean waves roll in. I certainly wasn’t interested in camping. It did just sound like a different kind of work.

This year, however, with two kids, a dog, and soaring prices on everything, camping is right up my alley. What’s more, I asked my kids where they wanted to go this summer. One called out, “To the mountains!” The other shouted, “Fishing!” Camping perfectly meets our needs for mountains, fishing and cheap. Of course, my need for showering while on vacation will have to wait until we get home, but I can live with that.

Whether we spend our vacation in a borrowed tent or a fancy resort, my favorite part is always having uninterrupted time with my family without the jangling phone or beckoning e-mail. I also like taking a break from the normal routine. When we camp, somehow cooking outside seems less mundane than meal prep done in my kitchen at home. And while vault toilets typically stink, I am grateful that I don’t have to clean them. My kids enjoy the novelty of roasting marshmallows and the freedom of chasing chipmunks and eating tortilla chips straight from the bag. My husband lets out his inner cave man by building the biggest fire the park service allows. Plus, a long weekend of roughing it is often enough time for everyone to feel like they’ve gotten away for some restful fun.

What can your family do this summer to relax, renew and meet everyone’s needs? Maybe I’ll see you around the campfire!

What I Have In Common With Broadway

2008-05-13T06:39:00.001-06:00

“…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 1:6

For Mother’s Day, my husband took me to see the play, “A Chorus Line.” This show looks at 17 dancers auditioning to be part of the chorus line in a Broadway play. They each tell their stories of why they dance or want to be part of the show. They share their fears, anxieties and feelings of desperation over “making it” in theater.

And while I haven’t danced much in the past 17 years, I can still relate to those feelings. Later this week, I am going to a writer’s conference where I hope to catch the eye of a publisher for a new devotional I am writing (please say a little prayer for me). Many of my questions sound like those of the dancers in the play, but with a writer’s twist. Will the editors like the idea for my book? Will they think I write well? Will they buy? And if they do, will they pay enough to make a difference?

I think that no matter what field you work in, you run through a similar list of questions in your mind. It probably happens the most with mothering. Am I doing it right? Am I too strict? Am I consistent? While these questions stir the pot of anxiety within us, the one thing that keeps it from boiling over is our faith in Jesus. He knows exactly what we need the minute we need it, even if that minute comes later than we expected. He fully equips us to do the work He sets before us, even when we question our abilities. And best of all, He comforts us and quiets our hearts, whether we present for publishers, audition for a chorus line, or parent our children.

What anxieties stand before you today?

Moving Forward In Trust

2008-05-05T20:33:00.001-06:00

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13

Last week my youngest daughter and I went to her kindergarten orientation. I smiled as I excitedly led her into the school, assuring her that everything would be great.

But while I put on a good front for her, I knew something was wrong. I am not supposed to be a mom whose kids all go to school. My kids are babies who stay home with me so we can play at the park, watch cartoons, and go to gymnastics class in the middle of the day. Sending my angels out the door every morning just doesn’t work for me.

I know I love being with my kids and will miss them when they are both in school, but I think my apprehension is more than that. Perhaps I am afraid of missing too much of their lives. Maybe I am jealous of the teachers who will witness the “firsts” that I will miss. What’s more, with every passing year, friends become more interesting than parents and I don’t like the idea of being replaced.

Maybe my daughter will go through a rotten stage over the summer and I will want her to go to school, but somehow I doubt that will happen. I simply have to trust God to build on the strong family relationships we have already created, and believe that He will maintain those even when I can’t be there. He will remind me to tuck little notes into her backpack, and to make sure we have free time to play together after school.

And as she launches into a new phase of life, so do I. I look forward to discovering how God has prepared us both for our new adventure.

How do you handle your child’s growing independence?

Greasing The Squeaks

2008-04-30T08:28:00.001-06:00

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. – Matthew 6:33

Prioritizing is often hard for me. I assume it is difficult for most moms. After all, what woman can put the needs of one of her children over those of her others? And who hasn’t, after a long and tiring day, had to decide between sleep and honoring her husband’s request to discuss the family budget?

We learn that the “proper” way to prioritize is to put God first, then our spouses, then our children. Unfortunately, life isn’t so black and white. If simply saying, “I’m sorry, angel, but I have to spend some time in prayer, and then rub Daddy’s back, then I’ll come find your pacifier,” would quiet a screaming baby, we would have peaceful homes. However, we all know life doesn’t work that way.

The saying about the squeaky wheel getting the grease didn’t become popular without reason. We give our attention to the loudest thing in our environment at any time, and while occasionally it is my husband, it is never God. Even if He tried to get my attention audibly, the clamor of my ever-talking kids would probably drown out His effort. Perhaps this is why most children are scared silent of thunder – it is God’s way of getting them to be quiet so He can talk!

Another place I have trouble prioritizing is in my quiet time. Since I write about God, I often compose during the early morning hours I devote to Him. Usually I find this time brings us closer together, but sometimes it is just work. That is not what this time is meant for, but if I don’t do God’s work during the time I set aside for Him, then I have to do it during my family’s time. Priorities, priorities, priorities.

I keep telling myself that this situation will sort itself out once my youngest child is in school all day, but that is not for another year. What’s more, I am certain that is not how God wants us to live. He does not mean for us to wish away the blessings of today while we anxiously wait for tomorrow. We all know the grass is never greener in another year, it is just different.

In the end, I decide there is no value in fretting over this question of priorities. God knows my heart, and when all is said and done, that is truly more important than whether I spent my time in the right place today or not. If I consistently get it wrong, I bet He’ll send some thunder to let me know.

Taking a “Sick” Day

2008-04-21T13:39:00.001-06:00

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. – Proverbs 13:12

Today my seven-year-old came home early from school. When I answered the ringing phone, I heard a tiny voice say, “Mommy, I don’t feel good.”

“I’ll be right there,” I assured her.

I remember having sick days as a kid. That lousy feeling of being ill was softened by the anticipation of getting a day under the covers, in front of the TV. If I was lucky enough to have a tummy ache, I’d get a clear soda like 7-Up or ginger ale – an extra special treat.

Additionally, a sick day meant someone stayed home with me. Or even better, someone came to pick me up early. To hear the voice on the other end of the school office phone say, “I’ll be there,” made me feel better than any cold syrup ever could. It told me I was more important than work.

Now I don’t get sick days. No mom does. But every now and then, it would be nice to stay in bed and watch trash all day. Trash that isn’t animated.

I think I am going to declare a sick day. Well, at least a sick afternoon while my kids are at school. I’ll make some cocoa and curl up under a blanket, and let the vacuuming go for another day. I’ll ignore the kids’ socks that litter the family room floor, and I’ll let voice mail tell all of the charities and pollsters calling mid-day that I am simply not available. I’ll ask my husband to pick up dinner, and maybe he will come home early, just because I am important.

Even if I’m not really sick.

Loathing The Learning Curve

2008-04-15T16:50:00.001-06:00

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge…” - 2 Peter 1:5

All week long, my 5-year-old looks forward to her gymnastics class. She enjoys the other kids and feels a strong sense of accomplishment when she masters a new skill. However, the period between the introduction of a trick and her successful performance of it causes a great deal of anxiety. This morning I asked, “Are you ready for a great day at gymnastics?” She replied with a rather glum, “I guess so.”

I can relate to her sentiment. There are so many times when I face a challenge I am eager to meet, but the learning process required to succeed is daunting. Sometimes I even know I am embarking on something God prepared for me and equipped me to do, yet my nerves still pull me back.

When fear grips my daughter, I give her a big hug and kiss before pushing her to a place where she has to try. I tell her it doesn’t matter if she does things perfectly. What matters is that she does her best without giving up. I am blessed to have friends giving the same encouragement to me.

What do you say to your children when a big learning curve stands between them and what they want to accomplish? What do you say to yourself in this situation?

What Are You Protecting?

2008-04-09T08:11:00.001-06:00

“For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you…” – Deuteronomy 23:14

I am something of a safety nut. When asked what I do for a living, I frequently joke that I am the Director of Home Front Security. I am the one who checks the locks on each door and window every night, makes certain everyone wears a seatbelt, and sees to it that every bicycle-riding head is under a helmet. However, this morning I read an interesting article suggesting that guarding the spiritual part of ourselves is of greater importance than protecting the physical parts.

This is not something I had considered before, but I see some truth to it. Our physical bodies are temporary, but our spirit lasts forever and is therefore our most valuable possession. It is what we must nurture, develop and safeguard at all cost. Perhaps more importantly, it is what we need to teach our children to grow and protect.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of giving up my well-earned job title. Protecting my spirit doesn’t mean I want to open myself or my family up to the risks or trauma of physical harm. But I do have a new perspective that expands my role from merely guarding our physical safety to reinforcing our spiritual defenses as well. Perhaps it is time to start teaching my kids to pray scripture in addition to telling God about each day’s events. Or maybe we could work a lesson into our weekly family hikes.

What ideas do you have for strengthening your family’s spiritual defenses?

How Is Your Resolve?

2008-03-31T13:37:00.002-06:00

“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” - Psalm 20:4

The end of March means it is time to wrap up the first quarter of 2008. It is a great time to take a quick assessment of how we are doing with our New Year’s Resolutions.

I set goals each year. Sometimes I do a great job of accomplishing what I set out to do, while other years I completely miss the mark. So far I seem to be on track for the latter in 2008. Here in the harsh light of March, I realize I set entirely unrealistic goals, even though I know better. I must have made them in a moment of extreme confidence. The year I did the best job keeping a resolution was when I made only one. With a singular focus, I accomplished my goal in May.

And while I may not be setting any resolution records this year, the good news is that I still have 9 months to get back on track. If I could grow a baby in 9 months, surely I can get my closet organized in the same amount of time.

Take a minute to review what was important to you on January 1. If you are well on your way towards accomplishing it, treat yourself to a bite of chocolate for a job well done. If your goals are still meaningful but you haven’t spent time on them, consider what might be getting in the way. What time-eater of lesser importance is getting more than its fair share of your attention?

Revise your resolutions as necessary, but do not despair. You still have ¾ of the year left. Besides, God doesn’t love you for what you accomplish. He loves you for your heart.

What Happens In The Dark

2008-03-26T09:42:00.002-06:00

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Mathew 11:29-30)

The raised hand of the fire fighter standing in the road stopped us from turning onto our street. “Where are you headed?”

I told him our address and he explained that a worker had accidentally pulled down a power line with his truck-mounted boom. When the boom hit the line, the driver lost control and crashed through our neighbor’s fence before rolling the truck. Thankfully, he walked away without a scratch, but the street was dark. The power lines were still hot so the fire department wasn’t letting anyone get too close.

As we pulled into our driveway, nervous tears began rolling in the back seat. My children cried, “What are we going to do?”

I gently guided them into the house where I found a flashlight for each of them before lighting every candle I owned. Since the accident happened only about twenty minutes earlier, I figured it could be a long time before the power resumed.

Illuminated by flashlight beams, the kids got ready for bed as they talked about their fears. When will the lights come back on? Why doesn’t the well pump work when the lights aren’t on? How long will it be until we can watch TV? Can I do puppet shows for the family until the TV comes back? It sure is dark in here.

I suggested we pretend to be pioneers who did everything by candle light. The idea helped a little bit, but the kids still wanted to sleep in my bed. We snuggled up and read storied with one flashlight highlighting the words and the other one bringing the pictures to life. We said our prayers, and just as I pulled the blankets up to their chins, the lights came back on. Relief. Although my little one wondered, “Can I still do puppet shows for everyone tomorrow?”

How often in mothering are we caught in the dark? The lights may be on, but we still feel blinded by the dim unknown. Should I put my child in kindergarten this fall or wait one more year? If she plays soccer and baseball this season, will it over-schedule us? Will my preschooler ever hold scissors the right way? The questions we worry over can trap us. Thankfully, we have the very best flashlight available in Jesus.

However, I often notice that He only gives enough light to make it from one step to the next. He rarely shines the beam out into the distance, giving us glimpses of the future, but rather He focuses it right where we need to be, in the present. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)

I think Jesus knows that if we saw too much of the future, we wouldn’t turn to Him during life’s blackouts - during the scary and uncertain times when we tend to cling to Him the most. If we knew what lie ahead, we wouldn’t search for that beam of light that is Him directing us every step of the way. And in order for His light to be on my next step and for me to see it, we must be walking together, hand in hand. I think I like blackouts, for that is when His light is the brightest.

How does Jesus guide you through dark times?

Long Distance Memories

2008-03-17T08:40:00.002-06:00

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. – 1 Peter 4:10

My wonderful aunt is in the process of giving me a gift. I don’t know that she planned to, but in this particular instance, it isn’t the thought that matters. The present she is giving me is a blog.

A couple of years ago, my grandmother moved from an assisted living center in Colorado to my aunt’s house in Arkansas. Bringing her mother into her home was not only very generous and loving of my aunt, but was truly a lifesaver for my grandmother.

The downside of this situation, however, is that I don’t get to see my Nana very often anymore. I don’t talk to her on the phone as much as I’d like to either, partly because there is something of a trick to catching her awake, and partly because her memory started living a life separate from her body several years ago and phone conversations seem to confuse her. One of my favorite things about my grandmother, however, has always been her beautiful voice. Even at 91, her voice still reminds me of a bell when it rings out, “Hello,” so sometimes I call just to hear her music.

Since living in Arkansas, I have missed out on the stories and the little day-to-day slices of my grandmother’s life. That recently changed, though, when my aunt started her blog. She writes about the life of a caretaker, including little snippets of personal conversations and insights into my grandmother’s life that I otherwise would never get to share. Her thoughts give me snapshot memories that I can keep for myself or share with my children who may not have many of their own memories of Nana. Who knew that a cold, hard computer could deliver such a precious, heartfelt gift right to my desk?

You can visit my aunt’s blog at worldsbestmother-tucker.blogspot.com for inspiration to start writing down your own memories and experiences for your family. I remember to make note of the cute things my kids say and do, but keep no written history of myself or other family members. Amidst the business of raising kids, I encourage all of us to take a moment periodically to record an event or conversation that our children will cherish when they are grown. Share any ideas you have for doing this!

Growing To Serve

2008-03-10T08:49:00.000-06:00

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men… - Ephesians 6:7

“Your children are wonderful,” a woman at church told me this weekend. “They are so willing and happy to serve.”

I hadn’t thought about it before, but she was right. My husband and I became deacons in our church when our daughters were very young. When we were ordained before the congregation, the girls stood with us and our then four-year-old repeated all of the vows along with us. The pastor chuckled each time she spoke, but we didn’t stop her because we knew our decision to serve the church in this way would have a big impact on her. We suspected she would spend many dark mornings quietly eating an egg McMuffin while her parents made coffee and prepared the sanctuary for the day’s worship services. She would spend countless hours playing on the church playground while we washed those same coffee pots and tidied up that same sanctuary.

What we didn’t consider was how much she would want to help. She enjoyed passing out bulletins as people entered the sanctuary, then picking them up once everyone else had gone to enjoy the rest of their Sunday. As her little sister grew, the two of them became experts at spotting the tiny, clear plastic communion cups that tuck themselves into the craziest of places among the pews. They found the jobs they could handle and enjoyed doing them. I didn’t consciously process the way my daughters were becoming deacons themselves – serving the church in whatever ways they could, without all of the fanfare of a title or a nametag.

I recently retired from being a deacon because I felt like the girls were getting frustrated with those early mornings, and always being the last ones picked up from their Sunday school classes because Mom was busy getting things ready for the next service. However, this weekend I realized I might have made a mistake. The girls went with me to a mother/daughter brunch at church. When the event was over, I began helping to clean up and asked the girls to gather up any extra programs left behind on the tables. Little did I know that while I was off putting away centerpieces, they not only cleared away all of the programs, but the plastic cups, trash, and decorations as well. Then they helped me finish boxing up the centerpieces.

I did not see, until someone pointed it out to me, how they had grown to know how to lend a hand. Helping has become part of who they are. It seems those early mornings were more valuable than I ever realized.

What experiences have yielded unexpected results for your family?

The Faith to Decide

2008-03-03T20:22:00.002-07:00

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." – Jeremiah 29:11

I am going through a phase of life right now that is very difficult for me – decision making. I have several big, meaningful, financially impacting decisions to make and I can’t put them off any longer.

I hate making hard decisions. What if I make the wrong one? What if circumstances change and the choice that seemed right is suddenly all wrong? Worst of all, what if my choice inadvertently creates a problem for my children?

Yet, I know the time has come to make some hard choices. I know this not only because the stress of delaying is killing me, but also because I can clearly hear God saying, “Just pick something – I will be glorified in whatever you decide.”

The lesson before me has nothing to do with the choices I make, but rather having the faith to take the active step of making a decision and trusting God to handle the outcome. I can rest in the assuring words in Jeremiah, knowing that while I may not always see or understand God’s activity in my life, He truly does work all things for good.

Remembering this does not make the selection process any easier, but the act of choosing is less scary because the results of my decisions are in the very best hands.

What choices are you struggling with today?

Stepping Out For A Stretch

2008-02-26T10:44:00.001-07:00

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. – 2 Timothy 1:7

This weekend, my daughter stepped out of her comfort zone and into a whole new world. My karate and baseball-loving tomboy went to a cheerleading camp. When a flier came home from school advertising the program, I asked if she was interested. “Sure,” she replied. “I’ll give it a try.” Just like that.

When presented with something new, I typically want to know what is involved, what is expected of me, and which of my friends will be there for support. My daughter didn’t ask any questions – she was just open to the new experience.

How many great opportunities do I miss because I simply do not see outside my comfortable little box? I remember when I first became a mom and everything was new and both exciting and scary at the same time. I didn’t need to look beyond my child for opportunities to stretch myself. I had my hands full just trying to keep my daughter fed and in a clean diaper! After a while, however, the daily care of a baby becomes routine. The time you spend simply staring and marveling at her sleeping body dwindles and the everyday caring of our families and homes can become drudgery.

This is precisely why we need to look for new things to try and new experiences to stretch our minds and our senses. I found lots of opportunities for this when I resumed writing and speaking after taking a four-year break when my kids were born. I continually face new challenges with both fear and a sense of thrill.

My daughter had these same sensations at cheerleading camp. When we first arrived, she grabbed onto my leg and quietly said, “There are a lot of kids here.” But when we picked her up five hours later, she said, “This was one of the best days of my life!”

What activities push you out of your comfort zone and encourage you to grow in new ways? Share your favorites.

Dangerous Decisions

2008-02-18T08:45:00.002-07:00

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord. – Proverbs 16:33

Last weekend, my seven-year-old daughter went to a birthday party at a local fitness center. It is a brand new, and very popular, facility with several rock climbing walls and a swimming pool with two slides. It is a great spot for a party.

However, in order for my daughter to participate, I had to sign a waiver stating that the club was not responsible for negligence in training the staff, providing medical assistance or maintaining the equipment. We have all signed countless waivers saying those providing services are not liable for accidents or known risks associated with different activities, but I have never seen a document excusing someone from negligence. The wording of this form made me question the quality of the facility and its staff.

Suddenly I had a decision to make. Should I sign the waiver and take chances with my daughter’s safety, or subject her to the disappointment of missing the party and questions about why she didn’t attend after saying she would be there.

What would you do? At what point do we, as moms, say, “I know you are disappointed, but this is not worth the risk?”

In this situation, I spoke with a staff member at the facility who assured me that despite the wording of their waiver, all of the staff members helping with the birthday party were certified to work on the rock wall and all were trained in first aid and CPR. Asking some direct questions put my mind at ease and my daughter had a great time at the party.

When Gaming Isn’t Fun

2008-02-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth… 2 Timothy 2:25

When I was a kid, a neighbor boy had an Atari video game system. We would huddle around his little TV screen, taking turns with the joystick to play Donkey Kong or Jungle Hunt. We had a lot of fun, and I thought it would be even better to have those games at my house. However, my mom was not in favor of owning a video game system.

Now that I am the mom, I understand why I didn’t have video games. My kids don’t have them either. Maybe it is because the cold weather has kids cooped up indoors, but I have recently had a number of conversations with other moms struggling to get their kids to unplug. What strikes me about this issue is how few of the moms I’ve spoken with are willing to set or enforce limits when it comes to gaming. One mom said she sets a time limit, but her son repeatedly asks to play “just one more level.” Before she knows it, he has played for hours. Another mom said her child cries when she says it is time to turn off the games, so she just lets him keep going.

What I find amazing about this is that these same moms have no trouble enforcing limits when it comes to other issues, such as what time to leave the park or how many bites of broccoli must make it off the plate. Why would video games be different?

While my kids do not have a Playstation or Wii, my oldest daughter does have a Webkinz and enjoys playing in Webkinz World online. Shortly after she received it as a birthday gift, I read an article about a mom who was so fed up with her child’s gaming addiction that she unplugged the system, gathered up all of the games, and dropped everything off the side of her second-story deck. That’s one way to make an impression on your kids! I figured I didn’t want to do that with my computer, so I decided to set some clear limits before we got to that point. When my daughter wants to play, I set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes. She knows that when she hears the buzzer ding it is time to log off or else I will simply push the off button on the computer and she won’t play again until she shows me she can follow the rules.

Another video-ish game I let my kids play is Dance Dance Revolution. If kids are going to be electronically engaged, they might as well be getting some exercise. However, this game needs to be limited too. My kids usually turn it off themselves after five or six songs because they get tired, but on occasion I have to step in and tell them it is time to find something to play with that doesn’t require batteries or an outlet.

Do your kids play video games? How do you handle the amount of time they play? What ideas can you offer other moms for conquering video game addictions?

The Strength of the Word

2008-01-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:30-31

Today I am writing while watching my daughter’s gymnastics class. Six four-year-olds are attempting to do handstands. They all start well, but once their legs are overhead, their spindly little arms give way and they fall on their heads. They have not yet learned how to stay up, nor have they developed the strength to support themselves while upside down.

This is a dilemma I find I relate to, even though I haven’t done a handstand in about twenty years. When I encounter a struggle as a mom, I sometimes lack the skill to make it through the peak of the challenge and end up falling on my head. And for some reason, I usually have to take the tumble before I remember where to find the strength I need to hold myself up – God’s word. He equips us with everything we need to be the mothers He designed us to be.

How do you find strength during new challenges?

Thoughtful Giving

2007-12-27T08:44:00.001-07:00

Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. – 2 Corinthians 9:7

Try as you may, it is impossible to avoid it. You can read the Biblical account of the first Christmas aloud, make your own nativity out of sugar cookies, host a birthday party for Jesus (complete with cake and streamers), serve dinner at a homeless shelter, and pack a box for Operation Christmas Child. However, your child’s favorite part of Christmas will still be the presents!

What’s more, they will be particular about what they receive. My kids decided three days before Christmas this year that they both wanted e-pets, and were disappointed they didn’t get them. They have one grandma who gives too many presents, so my kids always comment on the fact that they only get one or two from their other grandma. Despite my efforts to impart the true meaning of Christmas into their hearts, it all boils down to the presents.

And, I have to confess, in many ways it does for me too. I feel disappointed when I receive a gift that clearly contains little thought from the giver. To me, the fun of giving is considering what would be special to each person as an individual, and taking the effort to find just the right thing. When someone gives me some run-of-the-mill gift that clearly expresses no personal thought or meaning, I feel let down.

I think that from now on I will stop trying so hard to divert my kids’ attention away from the presents, and instead refocus that energy into teaching them how to be thoughtful givers.

How do you handle Christmas giving in your family?

Gratitude in Sorrow

2007-12-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." – Psalm 119:28

You no doubt heard about the shootings in Colorado recently, at a church in Colorado Springs and the Youth With A Mission training center near Denver. The gunman took the lives of four young people, and one family lost two daughters in this tragedy.

I feel such sorrow for the families who lost loved ones, especially since it is so close to Christmas and their cherished ones were places where we are meant to feel safe. My thoughts frequently rest on the mother who hangs two fewer stockings this year, and spends most of the holiday season at the hospital visiting her husband who was also hit but thankfully survived the shooting.

What encourages me about this tragedy, however, is the press coverage. So often, we Christians come off as fanatical nuts on the evening news, but not this time. Parents and friends of the victims have openly spoken about their faith and several have publicly forgiven the gunman, citing their Christian beliefs as the source of their compassion.

It is troubling to me that it takes a tragedy like this for the news outlets to open up enough to show the gracious, humble side of Christians. However, I am grateful these families had the opportunity to share their love for Christ in memory of their loved ones.

Horrors like these shootings cause us to take a moment to give our own children an extra hug and send a prayer of gratitude to God for the safety of our families. As Christmas approaches, I wish you and your family a safe and happy holiday.

Between The Breaks

2007-12-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Mark 6:31

The span of time sandwiched in between the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks is tough for my second grader. For five, chilly November mornings she gets to sleep in, eat breakfast whenever she is hungry, and wear sweatpants and tee shirts rather than her school uniform. When her turkey-filled tummy returns to school, it knows Christmas cookies are just around the corner and the anticipation of another break in only three-and-a-half weeks is torture.

It is hard for me too. While I know a lot of moms look forward to having kids in school so they can pursue their own, productive routines, I love having my kids at home. Sure, the house is a mess and I become tardy with every deadline I have, but the sounds of my children playing and laughing are worth it. I look forward to Christmas break so they can help me bake, and we can go ice skating or sledding if there happens to be snow.

An uncomfortable sense of urgency fills the three-and-a-half weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Suddenly my daughter’s ability to build a three dimensional diorama inside a shoe box for school, and play a medley of carols on the piano for a recital become of paramount importance. Christmas may not come until December 25, but if you’re not ready for it by December 1, you are considered late (and I always am). The calendar fills until each little square is ready to burst. But this all ends on December 19, when the only thing written through the end of the year is ‘no school.’

I now face two and a half more weeks of Christmas shopping, sending cards, hanging lights, and shuttling my family from one holiday event to the next. We will make the most of this traditionally crazy time of year until we get to December 19. Then we will breathe a sigh of relief and relish every minute of Christmas break.

Canine Catastrophe

2007-11-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Last fall, my then six-year-old beagle, Maggie, tore the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) in her knee. She hopped around on three legs while we waited to see what would happen. When a month of painkillers and anti-inflammatories didn’t get her left rear leg back on the ground, the vet said it was time for surgery. $3,000 surgery.

A friend of ours recommended her vet in another town. The 45-minute drive didn’t seem so bad when he said the surgery would be $1,000. This was a bargain compared to our regular vet, but still, where were we going to find $1,000 for dog surgery. At the age of six, our little beagle wasn’t even half way through her expected life span. Thanks to medication she didn’t seem to be in pain, but we obviously couldn’t just let her hop on three legs for the next seven or eight years.

On top of the cost, the recovery for this procedure sounded like my worst nightmare, as well as Maggie’s. For eight weeks, she would live in a little crate, leaving it only for short, scheduled walks on a leash. Maggie tolerates the leash (as well as the crate) in very small doses. One or two walks a year would suit her just fine. She much prefers to roam our large yard at her own pace with no particular destination in mind. Following the surgery, she would initially only be able to stand for five minutes at a time. This meant finding a spot to go potty, doing her business and getting back inside within five minutes. Forget it! It takes a minimum of ten minutes to find a good spot to go, followed by another ten minutes of mandatory exploring for future potty places. A five-minute limit would mean I’d be doing more crate cleaning than really appealed to me. What’s more, winter’s approach and the thought of walking my dog in the snow for two months gave me a sudden urge to hibernate.

Thankfully, when the day of the surgery arrived, I asked my husband to have the vet examine her before doing the procedure. “It looks like she’s putting weight on her leg,” I said. An answer to my prayers came when my husband arrived home and reported that surgery was no longer necessary. Apparently, small dogs can sometimes heal this type of injury on their own. We were to keep a close eye on Maggie for another month, and reschedule the surgery if she had a setback. Thankfully, she didn’t, and we were spared the two months of recovery torture, as well as the $1,000 bill.

Yesterday, Maggie started hoping around on three legs again. This time she held the other rear leg close to her body. Here we go again.

What lengths would you go to for a family pet?

Mommy Time Out

2007-11-05T06:37:00.001-07:00

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, - James 1:2

F or the past several days I was down in the dumps. Things were not going my way and my selfish side was really starting to sit up and take notice. My DH was doing a miserable job of reading my mind and meeting my unspoken needs, and the precious cherubs I have for children were resting on my nerves. I was definitely ready for a Mommy time out.

Now, when my children go to time out, they sit in a chair in the dining room. Mommy time out starts with sitting in a chair as well. In a nail salon. Pretty nails go a long way in lifting a woman’s spirits.

Next, I went to the mall. When my children go to the mall, they like to visit the pet store to pet the puppies. I like to visit Macy’s to pet the handbags. The luxurious feel of buttery-soft high-end leather can turn my frown upside down, even when I can’t afford to buy it. Thankfully, this time I had a gift certificate!

After trying on several diamond rings at three different jewelry stores, my new purse and I found our way to Eddie Bauer where a cute jean shirt was on clearance in my size. It will look adorable with the boots I am going to buy the next time I have a bad week.

And what trip to the mall would be complete without a visit to the nice people at the Cheesecake Factory? After a little pampering, a lot of shopping and way too much sugar, I felt like a new woman. I returned home with a spring in my step and a restored attitude, ready to tuck my angels into bed for the evening.

What remedy perks your mood up when you’re feeling down? Share your best tips!

Smart Enough To Say I’m Sorry

2007-10-31T08:54:00.000-06:00

… yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. 2 Corinthians 7:9

My daughter is a sensible little girl, but last week she made an unfortunate decision she is likely to remember for a very long time. She informed my husband that she is just as smart as he is, and therefore no longer requires his guidance or input in her life. We expected to hear this during the teen years, but not from the mouth of our six-year-old.

Thankfully, my quick-thinking husband had just the cure for this know-it-all attitude of hers. “Great!” He said. “Since you know everything I do, then you know how to sweep all of these stubborn pine needles off of the driveway. Take as much time as you need, but you can’t go the Halloween party you were planning on for this evening until the whole driveway is clear. Have I ever mentioned that our driveway is 120 feet long? Boy, am I ever glad you know how to do this because it is a job I have been dreading.”

Without a word, little hands grasped the long push broom and got to work. She toiled for almost two hours, gathering the needles until small piles dotted the length of the driveway. She finally came in and confessed to me, “I don’t know how to get the piles into the bag. Will you help me?” I happily showed her how to get the first grouping into the large leaf bag, and then left her to continue her work. When she came back in about 30 minutes later, her cheeks were pink and her hair was sweaty. “Boy,” she said. “Did I ever learn my lesson!” She then added, “Mom, thanks for all the things you do for me. I better go thank Daddy too!” She apologized for what she said earlier, and I told her that I would know she was truly sorry when I saw her attitude change for good.

This is true of our relationship with God as well. When we make a mistake, He is ready to help us learn where we went wrong so we can tell Him we are sorry, but the words don’t mean as much as a changed heart. Nothing says, “I’m sorry” like improved behavior.

Sweeping the driveway gave my daughter plenty of time to reflect on what she said and her attitude made a notable improvement. One of my neighbors had her daughter pull weeds from the garden for an hour after a similar incident. What are some things you have done to help your child find a better outlook?

The Coat Question

2007-10-08T06:45:00.000-06:00

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! – Matthew 7:11

Winter is on its way, here in Colorado. We usually get a big snow in October, so I got out all of last year’s winter garb to see what still fit my kids. I’ve always known my children were very different from each other, but their parka’s gave me a visual illustration.

My oldest daughter goes at life with gusto. I tell her that if she doesn’t get dirty and sweaty then she isn’t playing hard enough, and she takes this to heart. On the other hand, my youngest daughter is more interested in dancing than digging. Her clothes are rarely dirty, and the occasional spot is more likely to be from paint than mud.

Their differences presented me with an interesting challenge. Last year’s parka no longer fit my oldest daughter, so normally it would pass down to her sister. However, a permanent grime covered the front and the elbows of the coat. This brown shading never bothered the coat’s first owner, but I knew its next wearer would notice and not be impressed. I also knew she would never complain about it.

I faced a dilemma. Apart from the staining, the old parka was in perfect condition. It even had a pair of matching snow pants (although the knees of the pants matched the elbows of the coat). Would buying my youngest daughter a sparkling clean new parka make me a poor steward of my money or a loving mother? Let’s hear what you think?

Better Questions

2007-10-04T08:02:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to the concert of a well-know artist in the world of Christian music. His songs are among my favorites, so I was excited to see him live for the first time. The show started off well, and he promised the audience an evening of praising and glorifying God.

He wove difficult, sometimes unanswerable, questions throughout the performance, stopping between each song to ponder the issues of his life. Unfortunately, with each question, his unhappiness and inner conflict became clearer. He stated after the first song that this particular tour was hard for him, and he was feeling tired. This progressed throughout the show until, towards the end, he said he was having a bad day and explained why, in detail. Not only did he “dump” on the audience (his words, not mine) but he missed lyrics and even entire verses of songs. His two most recent hits were left out of the show completely.

He promised an evening of praise, but delivered what felt more like a counseling session with a patient who was unable to hear the guidance of the doctor. When people called out from the audience to voice their support for him, he told them he didn’t want their encouragement. It tuned out to be a depressing event, rather than the uplifting one he said it would be.

I still love this artist’s music and would be willing to see him perform again, in hopes of catching him on a better day. But, my question to you is this: do performers have an obligation to deliver on their promises? Is it acceptable for them to have a “bad day” during a show? After all, they’re only human, right? But how would you feel if your hair stylist had a bad day during your haircut? Or your hygienist during your cleaning? Let’s hear what you think!

8 Factoids About Me

2007-09-27T08:41:00.000-06:00

My friend Jan Parrish tagged me to tell you some things you may not know about me. Feel free to post 8 unique things about yourself!

1. I love cute stationery even though I rarely hand-write letters. I do send a lot of thank-you notes, but any other correspondence from me typically comes via e-mail.

2. EVERY time I fly I have to go through extra security screening at the airport. Just last week I had a TSA representative take each item out of my purse and swab it for explosive residue. She said there is probably someone with the same name on a security watch list. Lucky me.

3. I am a magnet for natural disaster. I have been in an earthquake, a storm at sea, was in a house when it was hit by a tornado and was in a different house when it was hit by lightening on two separate occasions.

4. I love the idea of scrapbooking and have all of the supplies, but actually making the pages just isn’t a priority right now!

5. I hate having chemicals in my food, so I spend most of my time at the grocery store reading labels.

6. I planned to go into the Peace Corps after college, but since I didn’t speak Spanish they said I would be sent to Africa – the only place I didn’t want to go! Of course they didn’t mention this until after I had gone through the entire application process, had two interviews and gave them three personal references.

7. If there was no type of food in the world but Mexican, I would be just fine.

8. I finished my college coursework in 3 ½ years, but it took 4 ½ years to get my diploma because I interned for a year doing public relations for musicians and comedians in Los Angeles.

Attention Bargain Shoppers!

2007-09-27T06:53:00.000-06:00

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I was staying in a fancy resort hotel with a couple of girlfriends, when we became aware of a bargain. There was one room in the hotel offered for the amazing price of just $5 a night. However, the price reflected the fact that this room contained the worst the hotel had to offer. The cleaning staff found cocaine on one of the mattresses, thereby condemning it to room 477. The other mattress made its way to the room after receiving water damage in a hurricane, and there was no guarantee that mold or mildew did not exist inside it. The room itself became the holding place for the hotel’s rejects after someone was murdered in it and the cleaning crew was never able to completely remove all of the evidence of the tragedy.

So my question to you is this – what are you willing to live with in order to take advantage of a bargain? What would you let your children live with?

Travel Trouble

2007-09-16T07:27:00.000-06:00

There is no easy way for a mom to leave her children when she goes out of town. I am preparing to head out for the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) annual convention, and I can feel my children’s growing anxiety, even though I am home fore three more days.

The first year I went to the convention I tried telling them several weeks in advance so they could get used to the idea and ask questions before I left. They seemed appalled at the thought of any mother choosing some old meeting over her precious children. The next year I didn’t mention my trip until the last minute, thinking I would spare them the weeks of worry leading up to my departure. That didn’t work either. My youngest daughter held me tightly around the neck as if saying, “You tricked me into this and I’m not letting you go!” The fact that the sky-cab was trying to take luggage out of my hands didn’t bother her a bit. She was not at all embarrassed to hang there like a necklace while I stood on the curb at the airport.

This year I did not make a big deal about my trip, but casually mentioned it about two weeks ago. My youngest child keeps asking me when I am leaving. I think she is afraid I’ll pull another “trick” like last year. My oldest daughter simply asked, “Is this the last year you are going?” I sure hope so – I don’t know how much more of this leaving stuff my heart can take!

Do you have any tips or strategies for when you leave town without your kids? Please share!

Breathing Deeply

2007-09-08T07:30:00.000-06:00

"The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life." – Job 33:4

For the past week, it has been difficult for my four-year-old to breathe due to a virus. We only leave the house for short jaunts, since we can’t miss her scheduled treatments with a nebulizer. The medication she breathes in causes her to swing wildly from sleepy to hyperactive with only a moment’s notice. Thankfully, she has progressed to the point of being able to sleep through the night without the interruption of a treatment.

This experience has me focused not only on my daughter’s breathing, but also on the gift of breath itself. It is such a fragile thing – so easy to break, or stop altogether. Yet God blesses us each day with the exact number of breaths we need. He lets me breathe in life, fully and deeply. He blesses me with nostrils filled with fresh, clean, restorative air the morning after a rainstorm. The scent of home fills my heart and lungs when I breathe in the aromas of the kitchen. I breathe in thankfulness for each puff my daughter takes, as we sit together in the cloud of steroids steaming from her nebulizer, grateful for doctors and medications and God’s grace that will eventually restore her ability to move fresh air through her little lungs. And I am so blessed to feel His presence covering my family during this scary ordeal.

Sometimes I notice I am short of breath because I run around from one task to the next, never taking a break. Sometimes stress feels like a weight on my chest and I can’t quite seem to fill my lungs the way I’d like to. And other times I hear God telling me to be still and know He is God, and I am blessed with a glorious, calming, refreshingly deep breath. Are you breathing deeply today? Tell us about it!

10 Things You'll Never Hear Me Say

2007-08-20T21:41:00.000-06:00

I was "tagged" by fellow writer Jan Parrish http://janparrish.blogspot.com to list 10 things you will never hear me say. I use the expression "never say never" on a regular basis, so this is a hard list for me to write, but here it goes:

1. No thank you, I don't eat dessert.

2. Thank you for offering to baby sit for free, but I'd rather pay you.

3. I don't do vacations.

4. Please drop by any time, my house is always clean and ready for unexpected visitors.

5. Is there a game on TV tonight, honey?

6. I would love to mow the yard.

7. Ah shucks, I'm all done ironing!

8. I don't feel like writing so I think I'll read over my insurance policy instead.

9. Could you please take a little longer with my oil change because I really enjoy sitting in your waiting room?

10. Kids, will you please come keep me company in the bathroom?

A Thoughtful Tongue

2007-08-17T07:00:00.000-06:00

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. – 1 John 3:18

This week I received the blessing of laryngitis. Of course, on many levels it didn’t seem like a blessing. The frustration of not being able to communicate verbally was almost overwhelming for a motor mouth like me. Every time I tried to talk, it resulted in harsh, painful fits of coughing. When the phone rang, it sat unanswered. My unreturned messages piled up, because the person on the other end could not hear me if I tried to answer. It was a difficult week, to say the least.

However, my inability to speak gave me a chance to ask myself two questions. How much of what I say is truly valuable for others to hear? What do my actions say in spite of my words?

During my bout of laryngitis, I could only whisper a few words before the coughing started, so I had to pick those gems carefully. It made me realize how many extra syllables leave my lips simply to fill air space or to be a part of a conversation, even though they don’t have much true meaning. I also realized how my words and actions don’t always align, especially with my children. My mouth says I’ll pour a cup of apple juice, but my body stays at the computer to send one more e-mail. My mouth tells the kids I’ll go to the park with them, but my body sits down next to a friend we run into once we get there.

This is why I say the torture of laryngitis was actually a blessing. It gave me the chance to quietly evaluate how I use my words without my own voice getting in the way.

Perhaps the best part of laryngitis is that, even with no voice, God hears me. And without the distraction of talking to other people, He and I got in some much needed quiet time.

What are you struggling with when it comes to talking or the way you use your voice?